Disclaimer

All content on this blog is fictional and any resemblance with actual events are purely coincidental. When you choose to read this blog you also agree to not get offended or try and use any content to defame me as a person or anyone connected to me. If you cannot commit to this agreement you are violating the agreement you agreed to by reading this blog. I repeat that by the act of reading this blog you are committing to this agreement of not getting upset or using content in a way that could be considered an act of aggression. If you cannot follow this agreement I urge you to not read this blog.

måndag 16 februari 2015

Scapegoating And Gaslighting



The HIDING of all your creative stuff and SHAME for anything you've made (art, poems, and so on) I totally agree with. It's insane to me now how shameful I was for EVERYTHING when I was young and still living at home. I hated my body and was 100% convinced NO-ONE could love such a foul, ugly being like me. My surprise was ENORMOUS when I went out in the world and people didn't hate me, and some even thought I was an equal!!!! My GOD - I was "normal"... What a shocker!!!! I'd been told I was a NOTHING. So that was a wonderful feeling that I could have friends, and even boyfriends. My narc bro had made his life mission, as long as he lived at home, to ruin any relation to guy's I LIKED and who liked me too. He lied to them, telling me I'd had sex with random guys and he tried to push boys HE THOUGHT I should date onto me. I remember a big cloud lifted from my life when he left as my mother and father was nothing as abusive as he was - he still is. He's living on the other side of the world and he's still smearing me to all our relatives. He loves FACECROOK as you can do that there. He claims to everyone that I'm having a hate campaign about him and others, and he's spreading out total lies about me. Whatever they use as "proof" of my abusive behaviour is stuff they managed to find out about me, as they've been shared my domain-name (before I knew they would do this to me) and from there on they can find other links as I have everything collected there.


It's an anonymous, more or less, domain as I was stalked by some nasty people before I bought that domain and I tried to make it as hard as possible to understand what family it's about. No last names, but still I want to show my family and write my blogs about my family and what happens in our lives, what I think about and am sad about. I like to talk about memories and alot about pathology and many more subjects I care about. My family want NOTHING of that! At the same time they all smear me behind my back and I can not even write my blogs or websites without being lied about and abused. My narc bro totally wish me gone from the face of earth and he straight out told me that, as he obviously hated me his whole life, and only faked caring to gain our parents approval. I was born after him, so I'm not surprised. I don't do jealousy and never done, so when my father rejected me for my baby sister I never thought about it twice. I just accepted I'd grown old and ugly and that he nomore liked me, as I was not as cuddly and cute as my beloved sister. Yes, I totally loved her and put her needs before mine. I also loved my narc bro with all my heart and thought he loved me too. I so feel like a stupid cow for imagining that now. And realize all my bad relationships in my youth was my relationship to this brother repeated. I kept believing guys liked me too, just cause I liked them, but then I grew up and married a non-narc. A guy who wanted to be loved a lot and noticed I was a kind and loving person. 

We are still together and we do love each other alot, being best friends as we are. I don't demand everything, as I NEVER thought I'd get married ever never, when I grew up. Getting married, being somewhat loved and raising a family was the best thing ever and I'm a very happy person. I generally love people and I love listening to others stories and I feel so much of what others feel I think I'm almost psychic, or what they call an "empath". I can predict others lives, just based on what I feel from them. I pick up alot from others, and being around nasty toxic users are like the most devestating experience for me. I am what my family call "over sensitive" and alot of my narc bro's abuse of me he made righteous by the statement that he only was helping me to "toughen up". He rather broke me down! He also broke his older brother and has used him as a slave his whole life. He sits there and demands things and favors from this brother, who's helping him ALOT. I wish he could tell his nasty brother to get the f*ck out of his servers and get a new server and go and pesture someone else. But he seems to LOVE his brother no matter what abuse he's spewing out about me and him. He keeps complaining that the narc brother just need to see the light. It's so frustrating as I realized years ago that he was a user that used us as his servants and didn't care a bit about us and our emotions. I've seen the narc bro for decades spew out belittling comments and talk behind the other brothers back. It's been so VERY frustrating that he just wont tell that bastard to go away and leave him alone. Thanks to the narc bro he's gotten ALOT of enemies and alot of people thought the nice brother was just as big an asshole as the narc one. 
It's all about the narcissists so if you complain you are the problem, so you stop telling anyone anything or asking for anything. You become NOTHING. Then you are treated as scapegoat, as the narcissists and their minions fill in the blanks (noone knows you, you're a blank) and paint their own ugly picture ON you... Whenever people were bad to the narc bro, for instance on the net, both me and the nice brother used to support our brother. I stopped when he turned on me and supported his foe against me! I realized he RATHER took side with the person being nasty towards him, then appreciate my sympathy and support. Then I realized alot of what he wrote about I did not agree on at all, as many of his foes started agreeing with stuff I wrote and called my narc bro an idiot, privately to me! How funny... I stopped meddling after awhile, but looked for years how the nice brother kept trying to understand the hateful warmongering shit our narc bro spewed out. I totally felt he should not do that, and he lost ALOT of credibility by obsessingly looking for the "good" in all this narc bro wrote. At the same time he always tried to find something "bad" in all I wrote! Finally, after all this hell we've come to a point when I more felt being treated as an equal, almost, with my narc bro, which was all I wanted, but never could hope for. Now the nice bro actually can see "good" in most I write - miracle! And he can see the "bad" in the narc bro's stuff without trying to smooth over all the time. Still I wish he could get he's just an asshole, and there is no way he does not know I am innocent to all the made up stuff he and our sister (also our NM) are claiming about me. I know they all know I am, but they "feel better" when they project their own shit on me. As they've always done.


As soon as I saw they were up to this shit again in 2013 I wrote them that I was now done with them due to this and that - a short description. So they KNOW what they've done that made me go NO CONTACT. So all their lies about me doing stuff to them are made up and they keep on stalking my sites and smearing me to others for doing exactly like all survivors NEED to do - tell their story and extract all the shit out of themselves as it was never their shit. I didn't deserve their willful lies and manipulations, as I was a very naive and trusty being my whole existens. I only wanted to love them and never demanded anything for myself that wasn't my equal right, and most times not even that as I'm not a materialist, but an idealist. I always was that silly and wanted to get along. And I was very shy and it was awful whenever relatives lashed out in vile hate towards me, without knowing why. I often thought about killing myself for years, and when I am around their hate I still get that overwhelming feeling - to kill myself. When a child I felt like that as I imagined they'd regret their emotional abuse if I did kill myself, but then I realized they did not care. Now I only want to go away from this evil place where people can treat a person so vile, after she's only been kind to them all her life. They seem to try and provoke me into some sort of reaction, so they can spew hate and lies about me as soon as I get upset or sad. This has been their modus operandi my whole life. They did this to my nice brother too, so he's choosen to flat line his emotions and look "happy go lucky" all the time, no matter what sick things both our narc bro and NM do. Then he tries to walk away and avoid all conflict with them, but he refuses to go NO CONTACT.

He just can't do it, as he's afraid they will use that as a weapon against him and his family as that happened when they went no contact in 1998. What he did wrong then was that he overdid taking the high road and silently suffered and refused to tell me or anyone what had happened. Everyone thought they were silly, while reality was that mother had been totally SICK towards my bro's wife, and she should had been hold accountable for her vicious abuse. When they finally told me 15 yrs later I got so very upset and mostly cause I had no idea back then! Now I understand why NM was so weird after that. She acted out like a total victim with me and made up I'd lied to her and set her up, while I was very clear and could not had been misunderstood. Still she made up the story I'd fooled her we were going to come and stay for a few days, and then without telling her changed our minds. All lies. A while later she however showed alot of sucking up to me almost. She even helped me with the babtism of my fourth child in 2000 and she NEVER cared for any of my children before that. I was so happy as I thought whatever was wrong with mom she was working on it now. So stupid, as she was most likely only showing off and punishing my brother and his wife! It was not about me at all... Atleast that is how I look on it now, as she still lashes out on me in sick vileness IF I try to defend this brother. She did that on dad's funeral in 2012, which is the last time I saw her. She refused to come and visit for a whole year, until we told her we wanted her nomore in our lives. Then she spread out to people we refused to LET HER visit us. What a great excuse for her, so she could play the victim while not having to visit me or my children and grandchild anymore!

söndag 15 februari 2015

Ingis World of Zakarias

This is my fourth site under my Green World of family and homelife. I've made this one to the oldest of the brothers Zak (he likes to be spelled Zakk, but I say that I've always spelled it Zak, as that's how his real name is spelled). Like you can see on the blog I've written three other blogs about my World, starting with my home Lyckebo, which lays on a farm on the countryside with farmhouses and farmland all around. There are cows, sheep and lots of wild animals too. The second one was about my Family and the third about Zak's older sister Magda and her little son Vincent. But this site is about my oldest son and also alot about my own thoughts about matters. Whenever I write things I like to be able to write as honest and open as I like, but as I've been warned by a well viced smearer it's illadviced to tell about your own life as bad people will take whatever they can find and use it to harm you. In my experience from my personal smearers they like to use my son Zak and to that I'm not too surpriced as this attack begun really early on. He's a very positive and intense person, who likes to joke and easily get friends, but somehow spiteful bitches like to attack him and smear him. Like I've said it started very early in his life, that I noticed this. In my opinion it's cause he sees straight through their bullshit and fake liars with selfissues can't take that. 

So quite early as a daycare child he noticed the caretaker was smelling of alcohol. And of course he told me about it, little as he was. He was only three at the time, but he said she was mean and that he didn't like her. She smelled weird too. His granny helped me to in-school him and she confirmed that the carer indeed smelled of alcohol. As she was the woman's neighbour she also knew she was drinking and not in any way a non-drinker, so no wonder, but you are not allowed to drink when working with children. My oldest daughter was there after school and saw the woman go to the kitchen and take out a bottle of booze and take a drink. So Zak was not the only one seeing she was not suitable to take care of my little boys. The youngest one refused to go there, but he was only one and could not speak up, so he just screamed and showed he was afraid of her. I will write about this brother in another blog, as he too has a site from me. This site of Zak's I have called Ingis World of Zakarias and you can go there and see how I have pictured that one. There are some very old and few graphics he did as a child that I have posted, but there are not much as he never was sharing alot with me of that stuff, like his older sister did. 
What happened with the childcarer is that I realized the authorities would never admit to having an employer who was drinking and abusing the children, so I never mentioned that to them, but instead said the baby would not settle in and the 3-yearold didn't like it either, inspite of all our efforts to make them. That made them look for another solution and we ended up with the one carer we all liked the most - a wonderful and caring woman who was very good at handling children. Still she was not a miraclemaker so when she was given too many children it was hard for her to be such a good carer she wanted to be, so she decided to leave her job and my boys had to get a new carer. That was more then a year later, but it was still very sad, as she was so good, but being so good made her want to do a good job, which she was not allowed to and she got tired of the constant stress and feeling of never really managing. She was getting older too, of course, and what was reasonable before just gets too much after awhile. We all missed her alot, but the boys loved their new carer too, who was a happy and cute philipinian lady. No wonder Zak became such a good mate with his pal from the Philipines. For a long while Zak wanted to go there with his friend, which bothered me as he was just a young teenager at the time. 

Going back to the issue of the sudden and nasty attacks and the reason I am feeling very reluctant to share anything about my son Zak on the net. It was long before his friendship with Jai, the boy from the Philipines, and shortly after we'd moved to this place a few things happened that was very mean. Both attackers were younger women. One was a teacher and the other a relative. I forgot to mention that there was a couple of physichal attacks by his granny, my mother, too long before that, when he was still in daycare or I was home with the boys taking care of his new baby brother. One was at home in our kitchen, when I turned around and his granny was about to smack his face as he was standing on his high stool screaming. It had no safetybelts, so I had to be really careful. But my mother intended to knock him off the stool and throw him on the floor, it sure looked like. I screamed out in pure panich to her and she stopped her hand in the air. My husband had earlier warned me he'd stopped her the very same way when she was about to smack our oldest daughter, but today he don't remember what child she was about to smack. I think it must had been the daughter, so I write that down. If you've read that blog you can see she indeed did smack this daughter once, in the face, for crying. That is the kind of help you do not want to get.
There had also been another attack on Zak by this granny, which I could not avoid. I will shortly mention that too before I go on to what happened later on, after we'd moved to where we live now. This second attack happened at her summerhouse when we all was outside. I think I must had been visiting her without my husband, as I can't seem to remember him being there. It did happen a few times I went to see my parents alone, though most times I prefered having my husband with me. I was standing with my two little boys on the north side of the house. Zak was at the ground and he must had been like 2½ years old. His baby brother was in his baby carriage and can not been more then a few months old. We could see granny working on the other side of the house, which lies on a hill so the other side was far below. She was making the house much larger and there was cement for the new part on the ground. She was hoosing it down with cold water and we more or less just hanged around. Zak was annoyed or yelling like little toddlers do, but not behaving in any specially horrible way. Just being a child, more or less. I could see his voice was annoying my mother, but not dream she'd do what she actually did the next second. Suddenly she turned the hoose 45 degrees to the right, and atleast 45 degrees up, straight in our direction. There where no cement even close to our direction that needed to be watered, which is her excuse ever since then.

So she turned the water straight at Zak's direction and some water did reach him and made his cloths all wet. Thanks so bloody much, mom! I had to go and change his cloths, and if he'd been in a mood before nothing had improved from that treatment. Of some odd reasons neither babies nore adults fancy getting ice cold water straight in our face by spiteful old hags. Well, perhaps there are some sickos who do, but ask before or you will be hold accountable for your actions. Which is something this particular old hag never has been and always intend to not be. Cause and effect. So these two actions were done by another relative then the one I was about to talk about, when this memory popped up in my mind. The other attacks where mental attacks and done a few years later by two other women. One was a teacher and though she was only an extra she was pretty rude and ruthless to the children. Their wonderful teacher Britt had fallen ill and since she loved Zak alot, just like she did most children as she is a very positive and inspirating woman with a calling to teach children, it was a great loss to Zak she had to go. We all prayed she'd soon be well and back again, which she eventually was. But not to help Zak and make his two last years at the low level school as good as the first one had been.
To replace Britt they got a nice teacher called Carina, who was pretty new. She was fair and did her best, but at her side she got a real bitch who was called Katarina. She had no interests in the children and rather spent time with her horses. But a girl got to do what a girl got to do, so she became a teacher and harrassed poor innocent children instead. How she did it was pretty horrible, as children have sensitive ears. So she played really loud music on the music lessons. So much that Zak got tinnitus and ear buzz ever since then. His head hurt and he complained to her that she had to lower the sound, but her reply was that he was the only one complaining so no can do. Which is totally vile thinking. If only one person is in agony from something you should persist on doing it? I had to contact the principal as she refused to let him have lower volume and also she refused him to leave the room. He got so upset with her as it truly hurt his head so much he could not stand being there that the little boy, barely seven years old, walked home. We live on the country side and there is nowhere for children to walk beside the road. Only the very slim road where big trucks and tractors drive very fast day out and day in. We also live quite a distance away from the school, so normally the children go by bus to and fro the school. But he came home to me and told me what had happened.

So I talked to the principal and said that my son never wants to put his foot in school ever again, and there is no way I can make him to as long as he has to endure the pain of that loud music. I asked him if please, please, please, he could not be let to do math instead, which he so much wanted to, so he could attend school and get his education. The principle was very understanding and sure enough it was possible. Katarina could no longer torment my son with ridiculously loud music and he could sit in peace and do his math. To think such sick people are allowed to work with young children is very hard to imagine. It's of course cause you can't see their sickness on their outside. On the surface she was a blond and blue eyed quite pretty girl, though not very pleasant to be around. She was sulky and seemed angry, like so many nasty people do. I think they give off that energy to make you afraid of criticizing them, as they already seems so pissed off. It's not good when you feel that you rather go and talk to the principal then with your child's teacher. We all so missed Britt by now. Carina was nice, but knew and she had no idea how to handle the cruel Katarina. As in most cases people don't want to piss off a collegeu at work. I've heard that Britt rather did that then let a child get hurt. But then she's one of the rare ones with true guts. A real person with a huge heart.
This event with the nasty teacher was not very long and it was easily fixed as soon as I realized the problem. What was the long time damaged by her action was the damaged to my son's hearing, as he ever since then have had problem with Tinitus. The other things was the trauma of being abused by a teacher the way she did it. He still mentions this event as one of the key points in his life when he felt really betrayed by the outside world, or should I say, attacked by nasty, evil people for no reason. She was using her power as a teacher over small children to make a child feel really powerless and helpless. What a joy, Katarina! You made a child feel really bad. Good on you! How smart and strong you must feel, bitch. Equally smart and strong as my sister must had felt when she struck at my son for not working hard enough in her garden. She herself has never in her lifetime lifted a finger to help me in my garden, in my home or in anything concerning me, so what gives her the right to attack my ten yearold son for not working hard enough for her? This is another story, but one I will tell you now as it is one of those things that are so revealing. 

The first this story will reveal is how two faced my sister is, as she was all sweet and honey towards me and my children as long as her new husband was around. Like she so often is with other people around. Most times those others are the rude ones, that out of nowhere puts me down and say spiteful remarks to them, though I hardly know them and in many occasions never met them before. So my sister is usually looking and acting like an innocent and kind little girl with the others watching, but as soon as they walk away all the kindness fly out of the window. Wham! And I am hit by a snidy remark and put downs. It happens alot. Whatever put downs her "friends" just had hinted at are now clearly hers to start with. She will also in many occasions pretend the nasty remarks, that clearly have me all upset, never occured. Like it's the most normal thing to say so twisted things to a perfect stranger or someone you hardly know. She will in those cases almost be cheerful, while I feel like a total rotten amoeba. A low life. In this particular event in her garden her husband had been there and said a few things I really didn't like that much, but didn't know why he was so stuck up and overbearing. I brushed it off as just his way of treating others and that it most likely had nothing to do with me. It was just him. Then he left and I was happy to get rid of the prat and hoped to have some fun time with my beloved sister and our children.
I was joking with the children and with my sisters ten year old boy and I thought all was fine now as us women were alone with our children. But then I heard my sister snap at my oldest son in a very rude and hostile way. So totally out of order I could not believe my ears! She actually told my son, who was helping her out to clear out garbage from her garden, that he needed to move faster and work harder to get the job done for her. She didn't pay him for the job, and he did it out of the kindness of his little heart. So did the rest of my children, that were old enough to do a thing. I tried to brush off her rude remark with a joke that maybe he too would become a workleader as a grown up. To that she made an even more horrible remark as she attacked his very future and predicted that he would amount to nothing and not be good for anything. How can a grown up woman at age 33 even get into her head to say something so nasty to a child? To predict his doom and never happening future, just because he moved her garbage a little too slow for her. What a nasty, evil cow! I didn't know what to say to her foulness, so I just told the children to stop their work cause none of us where to be spoken about in that way as we had been helping out freely and gladly and did not deserve this. So we all walked away from the garden and my sisters only son joined us too. That must had pissed her off properly, that I got her son to join me in my protest!

The thing is that I've always liked her son good and proper. I've never done anything spiteful to him, though I once had to explain to him about little children as he was bullying his baby cousin for not understanding some rules in a game they played. I think he got it as I explained it very well that his cousin didn't know the language and also was a little small for the game, so he needed to give him some slack and maybe not demand too much from him when playing. I'm no guru when it comes to children, and not all like me, but most do. I do my best and I don't go out and try to insult or hurt any children. I would never ever predict gloom for a child, even if I could sense they were heading for it. Sometimes I do feel that for children and people in general that this person is in for a ride soon. But I never ever tell them, as that is their ride and their future. It's not my job to judge and spread fear in their lives. Besides. Doing what my sister did was like cursing my son. Putting a hex on him, if you want. Or in common terms she put an idea in his head that he was a good for nothing person. That is the same thing actually. Nasty, evil people put bad thoughts in other peoples heads to make them fail and take away their powers to manifest their own selves.
Still today my son remember this event in that garden and he has still very strong negative feelings for this nasty aunt. She's a bitch and nothing else, according to him. He's so right. Like I said he can see through people and things and that is his super power. I think people like him are the most dangerous there is to those who try to rule us and control us. To succeed in your life when you have that power you must go under their radar. If you go out and try to become Mr Big Shot, they will shoot you down and bankrupt you and destroy your reputation. If you live under their radar and do things away from their focus they might let you be. This world are full of seers, witches and psychics and alot of us do get by even if we see and know things. That is cause nobody cares really what we say. With nobody I mean massmedia and the majority of people. But we do get heard. Like I've said there are many of us, and many kinds too. I am not the same as my son Zak, but I do have some abilities very close to his so I do understand why he's been attacked so much in such weird ways in his life, as I've been too. How things happened in school I can't witness about, but in the garden I was there to see my son did absolutely nothing to insult or cause this bitch's attack on him. She just went for him out of pure spitefullness for no reason then to be mean. 

When you see such events with your own eyes it's not hard to believe your son when he states he truly didn't do anything to be attacked by a teacher. He was harrassed by the teacher on the second level at school too, as she refused to deal with the bullying going on in her class. It was an old friend of Zak's who'd turned on him, as he realized that Zak would be easy to get upset with using gaslighting and triangulation. My guess is that the boy was a mess himself, as his parents are really messed up people. So his mother was a wreack at the time and his parents were fighting alot at home and he attacked his old time friend with false accusations and triangulations. To do that he ganged up with their new friend and he lied to the new friend about Zak, telling the new friend Zak had said and done things he'd not. That old friend of Zak still lies about stuff, so nothing that comes out of that young man's mould I trust on face value. His parents are the same and particulary his father, who's a slimeball. So the boy used his old friend to torment and he also tormented his other friend. That is very narcissistic, as he used others to rid himself of his own pains. But the teacher pretended she understood nothing of all this and only reacted to how angry and upset Zak was after every brake. What goes on during the brake should stay out and not be dealt with in the classroom, she proclaimed to me when I explained to her that Zak most likely was upset for something happening during the brake. She would not listen.
This attitude of this teacher was nothing new to me as I'd a couple of years earlier revealed bullying by one of the pupils in another class of one of the boys in her class. She just stared at me with a totally blank and careface look when I told her about the event I had seen. It stirred no response what so ever. Shortly afterwards the boy I had been warning her about beat up another boy in her class so hard they had to take the case to the police. That's what happens when you let the devil room free amongst your sheep, stupid sheep dog teacher. Cause the teacher should act like a sheep dog, protecting her little ones, and she didn't. She was a total mess after three years with my son, as she refused to listen to my advice on how to treat him and sort out the problem that was going on during the brakes. I had to bring in the same principle as before once again and he had to deal with the problem by talking to the boys concerned. That had good effect and the troubled boy stopped his worst behavior, as he now was caught out. As long as he thought he could fool everyone that it was the other boys doing the fighting, and he was the innocent bystander, he kept doing his lying, gaslighting and triangulations. Now the grown ups knew he was not that innocent bystander and the fun was over.

Narcissists are their own worst enemies, so just like young people ruin many relationships will they keep on doing nasty things to others all through life and hence pushing their friends away by hurting them far too much and never ask for forgiveness. This friend of Zak's has talked about this long afterwards, but when he does Zak is quick to agree they were all to blame. Zak knows that it has to be that way. Since Zak got a serious girlfriend the relationship with this friend turned more turmoil again. I will not go into that, but I can say alot of shit happened and all through that Zak cared and loved his friend dearly. He's a very forgiving and loving person and I doubt many would had concerning how poorly his friend many times treated him. It's very clear he wants Zak to brake up with his girlfriend and that he's envious over the relationship. All his friends, he used to look down on, has bonded with babes and have lives, while he just never seem to. It's not cause girls don't love him, but cause he's unable to love. I feel sorry for him, I truly do, as he needs to mend his heart and learn to love, before it's too late. That is a very sick puppy that boy and I know his mother has worried alot about him, being a very broken hearted girl herself. I wish I could heal that family as they are not a bad lot, just are pretty messed up.
I loose myself in these stories, so before I will go on I wish to speak a little about the art I show here. I've choosen what to make and put on Zak's page and he has nothing to do with these images, mind you. If he likes anything I'm happy with that. At the very top I put a graphic I designed myself using white tigers and a fantasy lady. Zak loved tigers when he was small and his favorite was the white tiger. He had a stuffed animal that he still has with him, though I suspect his girlfriends dog uses it as a pretend puppy or something. His girlfriend has two dogs now and one will have puppies soon they think. She has horses too so they need to live on the countryside. The next picture I choose I made with vectors and it's supposed to be Zak's old cat Linda. The crazy looking blue cow is from a tutorial, but as Zak loves blue and he loves funny looking cartoons I used it. The blue cat I made a personalized frame to using a tutorial as Zak always wanted a blue cat. Since last year he has one as they found a few kitties in a barn and one was all blue, like the one in the picture, and his sister was blue and white, so they kept them and took care of the rest and sold to new homes. The log deer is made from a tutorial and it was just funny looking, fitting for a bloke. The two fools I just gave to Zak's site as it was in blue and the Sagittarius graphic is from a birthday page I made for Zak using a tutorial, but changing some. 

The purple flower is actually one that Zak picked when he was a little boy and he gave me. I've drawn the flower using vectors, so it's not a photo, mind you. Zak called these flowers butterfly flowers, so the frame I've put around it is from a tutorial called Butterflies are free. The lovers above are a tutorial and so are the hot lady below. I've not remade anything on these two, and only added the texts. I will go on while I'm on it and mention the rest too. Below the lady in black leather there is a picture of an elephant I made from a tutorial. I don't really like it, but I put it into a graphic I made, with white tigers and a blue starry sky. Elephants represents a good memory and wisdom and loyalty. All good qualities I feel Zak has. The white tigers are courageous and beyond being Zak's favorite animals my totem animal is a white tiger, so I wish to watch over him like that. Not being too much, staying out of the way, but calmly waiting and watching. If anyone tries to harm him I will strike and kill mercilessly, like a tiger mother would. Symbolically speaking as I rarely slite throats in physichality, but more in meta reality, so his fows are slain. Sounds more wicked then it is, but if you've lived it you know that it is pretty much how it is. Now he and his girlfriend has another white tiger at their side as her mother is doing alot of fighting for them. She's a real tiger lady I can tell you and I don't know how she manage to fight so much as she does as I'm more like the lazy one laying down in the picture, and she's the one standing up puffing at me. That is a funny picture! 
Zak's girlfriend has been through quite alot in her life and so has her family, so when she and Zak hooked up she wanted a brake from it all and her mother was very upset that she could not make her little girl come home. Instead she was here all the time and we had to move Zak from his tiny room to our big bedroom so they could get more room. We moved to our oldest daughters big room as she'd moved out of the house with her little son. We redecorated her room a little bit and it got very pretty. We also remade the floor in our old room as the young couple hated the old floor which was all stained. Now they have long since moved out starting a year ago when the girls dad got an apartment to her. He rented it in his name and she could use it like her own. Zak also moved most of his stuff there, but it was a small place and he never officially moved out. His bed and room was still here in our house, but that didn't hinder my sister to write to the Court that my then 19 year old son was all grown up and living on his own. Nobody checks facts so liars can get away with almost anything. How she knew that his girlfriend the very same month had been given an apartment by her dad must be thanks to our mother. I had warned them to not fall for the little nice old lady rutine, but Zak still believed his granny in some way must care to have a relationship and his girlfriend didn't believe me at all, of course. Teens never do.

So when they found out that my sister had written this to the Court they immediately realized the information came from the granny whom they'd told the news about the apartment to as they'd let her be "friends" on some community on the net. Zak's granny had used the information about his girlfriends apartment to assists his bitch of an aunt to frame his mother, by making it out that I had nothing to do with my son's affairs. The truth is that I paid for the lawyer he used. I was the one hiring the lawyer, not my son, and she lied to the court saying I had nothing to do with it, as my son was since long grown up and gone from the home. What lies. He was still officially living at home, and when she wrote the letter to the Court it was the same month as Zak's girlfriend moved into the appartment. The same bloody month! And even if he the months following the move mostly was at his girlfriends place it was very close by and I was over at their place several times a week, and they were here every second day. I helped them and they helped me, as I had a job for them in my garden I paid them for and which wasn't finished until ten months later. Liars, liars, liars. The young couple felt so betrayed by the granny they came here in quite a state, totally furious she'd used this information to slander us like that. 
When it comes to the true seers of this world they all tend to be from the true origin of things and hence not accepting betrayal and being used like that. When they do not suspect others to do the unthinkable and let down their guard and ignore warnings and don't listen to their guts it's very upsetting when you get stabbed in the back and realize you should had listened to both your gut and that silly old mother who tried to warn them. I told them to not post or mention anything about their lives that could be used against us, if they wanted to stay friends with the old evil hag. I guess the girlfriend couldn't imagine a granny could twist and turn the truth like my mother could, but that's what she is an expert in. She's a bully and she can use anything you say to defame you with. If she is fighting you and you most likely wont know until it's too late you are as her favorite trick is to pretend to be your friend. I heard the term frenemies about such fake friends, and I think that is a perfect term for it as she's stabbing you in the back, again and again, and you don't have a clue, just a very sore back. I will tell you the latest stabs this woman has done to my back so you will get the picture. You see, when I found out she was going to lie to help my sister in her scam to not have to follow her written agreement on a house she wanted to have I refused to discuss that matter with her - at all. So I refused to talk to her. When I realized that mother refused to believe me and my witness that I indeed had read the agreement and that it was my sister showing it to me, I openly broke off with her in an open mail. And I told her straight out it was cause she'd decided to believe that I'm a liar. 

That was in May 2013 and she never bothered to reply to me on that one. Instead she wrote an insulting mail on my birthday ten days later. In those seven rows she lied nine times. My husband wanted to explain to her again why I'd broken off with her, and he also told her how unfair she'd been treating me and how she sided with those trying to smear me and brake me. All about how badly I'd been treated and bullied she ignored and pretended he was the one harming me. She did admit to him she'd never read the agreement though. Then she spread her tale about his abuse to everyone who wanted to listen. That's how nice she is. A few months ago she phoned me and she straight out lied and said she'd done nothing of the above. She'd never tried to help my sister with the inherance. She claimed that was pure nonsence by me. Last week she wrote a mail to the lawyer and sided openly again with my sister and made up more lies being married to father in 1992 and so on. She did however not send that mail to me, so I'd got proof she was doing this. Sneaky old cow. It takes perhaps a few years but one day we all wake up from our slumber. We might be fair, loving and caring people, but alot of people are truly sick bastards who like to harm others. We need to trust our guts and not be so blind. Bad people are no company to keep. I wish the best for Zak and I'm sure all will work out as they do have lots of courage and bravery. All that will weigh up any mistake you do in your youth, cause you care and trust others that don't deserve your trust. It will take time, but eventually, the more good people they let into their lives, the less bad people will fit in.
Ingis Erlingsdotter - Magnolia Lane