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All content on this blog is fictional and any resemblance with actual events are purely coincidental. When you choose to read this blog you also agree to not get offended or try and use any content to defame me as a person or anyone connected to me. If you cannot commit to this agreement you are violating the agreement you agreed to by reading this blog. I repeat that by the act of reading this blog you are committing to this agreement of not getting upset or using content in a way that could be considered an act of aggression. If you cannot follow this agreement I urge you to not read this blog.

torsdag 26 mars 2015

Healing from Narcissistic Mothers

Typical is that a narcissist will try to decide for you. 
This is a re-blog of a blog from Linda Martinez-Lewi, which you find on this link:
http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/healing-from-narcissistic-mothers/

I will start by posting the short little piece before I say anything, as I want you to see what she has to say first. There are some very important things which concerns all children to these mothers. But remember, such a mother does not have to have been badly treated herself. She might not be the one you should pity, like you as a child might be fooled to do. So read this first and I will comment more later on:

Healing from Narcissistic Mothers

I have a special place in my heart for daughters and sons of narcissistic mothers. When we are very young, we must survive the parents we were given -- our mothers and fathers. Mother is the one we are told that we can always turn to for comfort, protection, empathy, kindness and appreciation of ourselves as unique individuals. 

Narcissistic mothers are non-parents. They are incapable of emotional and psychological intimacy. They cannot attach and bond with their children appropriately. They use children as puppets to mirror them; they discard the child or scapegoat him or her. They are very cruel and dismissive and cause great pain to their children -- even the youngest child. 

As a child of a narcissist you often have to carry adult responsibilities.
At some point you know that your mother cannot and will not and did not fulfill your deepest needs. This is a time of reckoning where you know that you must act for yourself and learn to nourish and take care of yourself first. This is not selfish; it is essential. 

This self healing begins with small steps. Make sure that you do the essentials: get the sleep that you need and deserve; food that keeps you healthy; surround yourself with individuals you trust and are present for you. If you have a spiritual practice, keep it going. If you don't, define spiritual in the way that has meaning for you -- Find peace in Nature; feel softness and respite in your solitude; listen and embrace the music you love; write spontaneously and let it flow naturally; grow small plants that you watch thrive; cook and use all of your senses to enjoy the beauties of this act; exercise in the way that works best for you. 

Be patient with this process as a mother to yourself. Learn that you deserve the full freedom of being authentic, spontaneous, joyful, very funny and that you have access to all of creative gifts -- They are boundless. 

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Both girls and boys suffer from having a narcissistic mother.
This is a very sad situation for the emotionally evolving child, when the mother is not there for them and wont pay them any true attention. With attention I mean actually seeing the child and not behaving like the child was a doll, or just annoying. There are many ways a narcissistic mother seem to be able to destroy their children and they often do it with different methods for different children. I do agree that a narcissist does not really love any of their children and seem to envy all of them. The one for now choosen as the golden child, will be the one the narcissist is helping and supporting, but only for as long as it pleases her and in most cases cause it includes shunning another of her children out, or their father out. There is always some form of exclusion going on, where the one not in favor right now are made to feel like the narcissist is in the middle of it all, surrounded by only loving and caring family. That's one of the tricks they like to play on you, the loving family trick. 

There is nothing loving with this kind of family and if you come from such family I'm sure you've wondered over this total lack of love your whole life. You've seen there is something missing in the interactions inside of your family compaired to a family you've come in contact with, where you've seen something totally different going on. In many cases however I'm sure that you've been drawn to families that resembles your own in some ways. But if you've met something else, and felt the different atmosphere in a family where the members actually support each other, I bet that made you think why that kind of emotional presence never been felt with your kin. Perhaps you went to a school and had friends and you became like a family, and what you experienced was so very different from how your own family behaved. Either way, you will most likely realize this one time or another, unless you embrace the narcissism as normal.
They are just a bunch of amoral liars really and they know it.
What is normal and what is not depends on what you put into the word. To one person it might be normal to travel a few miles away and then go around and shoot little babies in their heads and after a full days of normality travel back again and come home and cuddle with your own little baby. To me that would be utterly sick behavior, but I guess some might find that very normal. Still, whatever normal that person might believe this situation is, it's actually not healthy normal. So lets talk about what's healthy instead of normal. In a crazy world crazy might be normal, you see. So lets talk about how to make our world more healthy instead of trying to normalize crazy. The person shooting little babies in their heads all day and then going home to his own baby is certainly not a healthy person. That is a very sick person, if not a totally crazy person. It does not matter what amount of lies the person heard to justify such behavior, it's still crazy. To be able to understand what is a sane action and what is not, is also a sign of mental health. To accept the most weird excuses to harm others because of, is a sign of being mentally ill.

If you can see with your own eyes that what you are doing is harming another person, is upsetting them and clearly is not a nice thing to do, and you still go on and do it, day out and day in, then you are mentally an unhealthy person. That's really as simple as that. It does not matter what lies you tell yourself to be able to feel good about it, it's still nothing else but crazy. My example might seem extreme, but it's the same with all kind of abuse, where you go out and mistreat others as you have heard that they deserve it. You might work on a workplace where you are ordered to do horrible things to strangers, since someone else told you they deserved it. If you only obey without questioning it's still on you whatever you do. A human can never deflect responsibility due to someone asking them to do this, or being ordered to do this, or that it's only your job. Whatever you do you are always totally responsible for each and every action you do yourself. There is nobody to blame, there is only you and your own guilt for whatever harm you cause other people. Once humanity gets this alot of the horrors we see in this world will go away. 
As soon as you know it's not true you can start to ignore it.
Now I want to speak about the worst thing you can do in a relationship to another person. The worst thing you can do is to not believe in the other person, when they are telling the truth. Of course I understand that it's not easy to know who's the liar, when there is a conflict, but whoever you choose to disbelieve you have destroyed your relationship with, if that was the truthful person and you choose to trust the liar. This is the very worst thing you can do and something a friend can never forgive you, even if you later on would find out that indeed you were wrong and asked for forgiveness. It's cause you didn't trust them on their word and not until you had total proof finally realized your friend was truthful. It's too late then, as you've proven yourself not a true friend by what horrible things you could believe your friend could do. My problem is that those that betrayed me actually know that I'm telling the truth, but still are spreading out that I'm the liar and a thief. They might not first had known this, but when they heard I was the one telling the truth they choose to help the real liar to cover up her mess and help her accuse me and smear me even further. That is the most foul behavior ever by a person and that is in no ways a friend or someone you'd be around.

The first one in my family that betrayed me is the original liar and she is the one the rest have choosen to believe, no matter the truth. So on top of her I was betrayed by my mother, who knows that I'm the one telling the truth as I have a witness who has confirmed my version. Instead mother is helping the original liar and pretends she can be her witness, while she's just lying to help her out. So then we have another family member who also knows that I have a witness, and he has made accusations against me based on fabrications, to support the original liar and her fake witness. I have a mail were mother admits to never seen what she's supposed to testify about. But she might also support all the stories about me doing things and being on places that are all made up stories by the original liar to make her look good and me look bad. Due to the fact that mother is supporting all her lies and the rest of them seem to do that too, they are all deliberately ignoring that I have a witness confirming that I was not the one doing what she's done, and that I was long gone when it happened. It's the same witness who saw her show me a paper, she afterwards lied about.
Never forget as you need to get out of crazy to stop getting crazy.
What all of these people have done is the most hateful thing you can do to another person, as they all know that I'm telling the truth by now, and they are determined to ignore it and never admit to it. They refuse to apologize for their errors about me, or to atleast say that I was right. Nothing. They will in no way do anything that would help to mend our broken relationship or make me even concider the possibility to forgive them for what they've done to me. They are instead determined to keep up their charade and keep on their hate campaign against me. This is what the original liar has been calling what I do, when defending the truth as it is, ever since the very beginning when I refused to help her out in her house scam. Instantly she accused me of mental illness, of stalking her, harassing her, and bullying her, and making her very upset and sad. All the typical emotional stunts very clever liars use so fast when getting caught you don't have time to react before everyone is on their side. This is what con artists always do, before their trap closes in on their victim. They have set the scene already for the victim, while the true innocent party has been badmouthed ever so slightly for a long time.

That's the reason there is hardly noone that will believe the true victim of such master bullies, as most people know too little and only have heard the liar's tales. And the liar has always a tail of enablers at their beckoning and call, whom all been groomed to believe every word that comes out of the smooth talking liars mouth, and not questioning a thing. There is one more thing that is vital for a good enabler and that is the ability to not care. They will not care one bit for truth and that is the main reason you will have to stop all contact with all of the liar's enablers. Since they don't care for the truth and you need to tell the truth to get your name wiped clean from the liar's filth, the enablers don't care for you and they are not your friends and they never have been. This is the absolute hardest point for every human to accept when watching all they thought cared for them turn their backs on them, that not one single one of these people cared - ever. Those that don't care for you enough to listen to you and hear you out, never cared for you. That's a living fact. No matter how much you loved them and helped them out everytime they needed you to, these enablers show with this lack of care for you that they never ever have cared for you. They show that they never loved you.
Get away from disrespectful people who wont leave you to be you.
It's really not much difference then a brake up from a really bad boyfriend, who only cared for himself. I'm sure most women at one point have had such a relationship where you had to realize that the young man really didn't care one shit about you, but your relationship was all about him and what he needed. If you are only dating and you realize this you do the smart choice to get out of it as soon as possible. If you did not figure this out until years later, after you've married and have children things might not be that easy. It all depends on how far it goes and where your limits of acceptance are. There is only so much a woman can forgive and a man that does regret the worst selfishness and thoughtlessness might be possible to keep, if there is some love left. But a man that never regrets the hurt he's caused his partner and only cares for his own ways are just like this family of origin that I've left really. You cannot live that way, so no matter it's better for both you and the children to leave a man that does not care for either and only for himself. The children deserves more and so do you.

I liken this I'm going through right now by a divorce, but it's not a divorce with my husband, who's stood by my side and finally totally understands what's wrong with my family of origin. No, this is a divorce from those that should had loved me as I've always been there for them, but they have totally revealed their true selves now. It's all about them and they are cruel and heartless beings with no empathy, no conscience and certainly no regrets no matter how wrong they are about me. They all know I've been telling the truth all this time and they know who is the liar who makes up stories to cover her tracks. They know there was no paper mentioning her getting a house for 110 K, like they've all been lying about. They all know that father refused to sign that will, and that he changed the sum from 110 K to 210 K and then still didn't sign it. They know that the paper she showed me didn't say any sum, but only mentioned the value with words, like the market value or something. They know that as the house was insured that very year for 230 K. They only pretend they don't know as they have now all of them proved they've been in on the scam from the start.
No more confusion and weirdness in your life when you leave crazy.
The conclusion that also our brother was in on this from the start was the last thing we two others wanted to believe. We've hold on to the hope that he wasn't and that he'd figure out who was lying and come back to us and see sense, but he wont. At this point it's obvious he's known about the scam from the start and he's upset that we refused to be scammed. Nothing else. He thinks that he is better then us and that he deserves more, and that is the only way we can interpret his words and actions so far. He pretends to be hurt and that he's under attack, but he's been lying to us too all the time. He's been trying to make us believe things that wasn't true, and that our fathers words confirmed isn't true. Whenever father would oppose this brother of ours, mother would call me and tell me father had gone crazy, when in fact father was only telling how it was. But mother either rather believed the lies of her golden son, or she was in on it from the start. The same goes with her golden daughter, that either she just wish to believe her lies no matter what all the facts are, like some crazy cult follower, or she's been in on this sister's house scam too from the start. Anything is possible with people who lie.

That's the reason my mother has ruined her relationship with me for good, as she acts like this and I can never trust her again. Mother has been framing me with all sorts of made up stories to help her golden daughter out and one of the tales she seem to tell about me is that of the envious sister who can't stand it when more beautiful and competent women make it in the world. That is most likely a projection from either mother alone or both of them. I'm the one of them that have had no interest in a careere so this projection from mother does not make sense. It was she who tried to make me think that mattered, not me. I was just trying to stall her when she went on and on about how important a job was. I don't like jobs and my wish is that I could earn money without having to work for someone else. Which is exactly what I'm trying to do right now, and what mother is trying to stop me from doing. She's actively trying to ruin my chances to get a living for myself, and nothing else. And at the same time she smears me as much as she can with all sorts of lies she's made up, pretending she was married to our father, when she was not.
No more revenges sought by malicious ugly crazy women.
The thing is that the person that's been envious of my life is my sister, who had no husband and no job only 13 years ago when she met her present husband. Ever since they hooked up it seems like he's helped her to work on her contacts as they have been very focused on having dinner parties with the right kind of people. So my guess is that her careere got started after she met him, as I didn't see much of it before that. Looking back in life I've seen the green eyed monster many times in my little sister as I was the dead cute one, the small girl that boys like. She once told me that men like shorter girls, and one thing she's not is short. And despite of me being much older then her I've looked younger since she was 12 and I was 21, if you would believe it, but it's true. We are just very different and while she crave adoration and to be looked at by men, I could care less. I'm sure my disintrerest in men must have had her annoyed, as I was the kind who liked one guy and one guy only at a time, and ignored all the rest. I just didn't care if others then the guy I was in love with looked at me, but I did notice on a few occasions that she got envious when they did. 

So the projection by mother that I am the envious one is just another way for her to insult me and be hurtful. She knows that I've had my hands full with raising my four children and she knows that they are what mattered to me. My mother knows that I have an academic education, unlike my sister, so she knows that if I'd liked to I'd so much easilier been able to get good jobs and focused on having a careere. She knows that I choose to have children instead and focus on them as we've had that discussion a million times and she knows that it was she who wanted me to ditch my children and go out and work instead on a careere. My mother knows that was her dream for me and not mine, so why would I be envious on someone doing something I didn't want? That does not make any sense, but that's what my mother writes to me in her short and very insulting letters. That I'm an envious woman who can't stand it when others are more capable then I am. So where is the woman I'm envious of, mother? Where is the mother who has more children then me and who are more loved by her children then I am by mine? Where is that woman who have what I want that I envy so much? 
One crazy method you will get away from if you shun crazy.
Of course she might be out there somewhere and if I see her I'll be the first to tell you that I can see how great she is. I remember once I met a woman bragging about having six children and I was openly admiring her. But then in reality three were not hers, so she had only three children, and by that I now have exceeded her accomplishment. A couple of years ago I met my sister-in-law's sister, the one I've not met before, and she talked about her eight children and guess what? Yes, I told her how fantastic she was who could take care of so many children and that mostly on her own. Also, a few of her children were special needs children, so I felt she was a strong and special woman. Did I feel envy and a need to put her down, like my mother claims I do whenever I see a woman who have what I wish I had? No, I didn't as I am what I am and I think I've done a fair job and I'm sure I'd been even far a better mother if I'd had any help from my family and friends, which I've never received. It's hard to never sleep and to be so dirt tired you are almost out of there all the time, and at the same time be a fantastic mother. So no, I was not always as good as I wished I could had been.

This is what such manipulators manage to do to you. For years they put you down cause you have so much on your shoulders and you have noone who helps you. Mother's only solution was that I was to leave my children and go off and have fun somewhere. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I did wish I had some help with all that was needed to be done. It's not easy to keep a clean home when you never sleep. I can tell you that only being able to sleep would had been great help for me, but for years I was never allowed to do that. And my mother knows all about that, and she never ever helped me in any way, instead she made sure I'd not trust her with my children as she assulted them to scare me from leaving her with them. Then she feigned innocence and pretended she'd not done what I or my husband had seen her do. There was no point in trying to make her admit to anything as all that woman will do is the same as her pet daughter will do, when found out. Feign that bloody indignation and then turn the table and pretend that you are the one attacking and making up lies about them. Oh, they are so good at this sick game!
Confusion make people go crazy as nothing makes sense anymore.
There is only one way to deal with these kind of envious, lying, manipulative people, who like to use you and make you help them, but who never are there when you need help. And that is to leave them and never look back. These people have never cared and that's why their only help have been to make things worse, either by costing you alot of money or taking up alot of time and energy when you almost wasn't coping as it was. When you are never sleeping, have no money to buy the most basic of needs, their solution is always something that will make you sleep less and cost you money. And then they will guilt trip you for your need of sleep and lack of money and force you to do things that you don't want to do, using your empathy and compassion. That's why they are so very evil as they know very well what's the problems you have, as you've told them as they faked being your friend, and that's how they know how to undermine you. I'm not sure how they made me do all these things I didn't want to do, but I remember alot of guilt when I didn't want to do them. They always twisted and turned all the arguments around and suddenly whatever I said sounded stupid and selfish.

So this is the reason you must go no contact with these deceivers and manipulators as they will twist everything around, backwards, and you will come out of it feeling you've been tricked into doing things you never wanted to. It can be to go to a party you didn't want to go to, or a trip, a journey or whatever. You will keep feeling guilty for the recentment you have towards them for not listening to you, and forcing you to do these things you could not afford and didn't have time for. When you needed help at home and some time for yourself so you could sleep one night straight through, you don't need to have guilt added to this for not caring enough for a selfish sister's needs and wants, or a totally uncaring mother's ideas of what you should or shouldn't do or need or want. Neither of such people cares for what you want or need and they lie if it suites them to make you look bad and that's why they need to be cut out of your life. These people, if left in your life, will make you feel horrible for many years to come, and who wants that? So, for your own sanity you have to take away what makes you feel bad, whom ever that is. To me it's those relatives as they try to make me go crazy by all their gaslighting and sick little games. 

This one is for everyone who needs a good laugh.
Finally, a funny picture! I like this picture as I agree with Lasse Wilhelmson that this world is upside-down. What is considered normal today is not normal, as most people look upon the lying narcissists as the normal ones and people like me who reveal their lies and wont accept these lies as the crazy ones. I think that either most people are sick liars themselves, or most people are totally naive and have never been lied to in this way. I've met alot of people both in real life and on the net who've experienced mothers and relatives that are liars, and all of them know that there are really evil people out there we need to watch out for. Those who have mothers that behave this way are the more awake to this illness and if they were the main target of their mother's lies they most likely are the most awake of all. Those that are most likely to defend the mother's lies are the one she's giving her attention to at the moment. Those who don't care despite seeing through the mother's lies are most likely the child that is just like her, a liar too. Those that did not have parents like this seem to think this behavior is normal, but a thing to be aware of, as it's how some humans are. I think they'd look at it differently if they've not had loving and caring parent, as that's when you see that there is nothing human about this behavior at all.

Actually there is something inhuman about this behavior as what real mother lies about her own children and make up sick stories about them? What mother would let people inject her own baby with something she knows could cause the baby to die? What mother would neglect to feed and dress her children properly and rather save up the money for herself to dress herself in fancy furs? I truly think that those people aware of evil out there would change their minds about what is normal if they've truly understood what things these people do to their own children. How they betray their most close relatives and stab others in the back over peanuts. It's easy to think that some people, out there, are bad and do bad things, but it's another thing to understand that someone you should be able to totally trust will try and ruin your life or even kill you. Not out of passion or any other reason then to gain pity and sympathy as they lost a child. That's what such "normal" people are able to do. They create situations where they can pretend to be the victims, but reality is that they themselves created it all and whomever they have framed is the true victim. This is the face of evil, if you ask me, as they show no compassion and only care for themselves. No, I don't think they are within the range of "normal", unless totally crazy is normal nowdays. In that case, where crazy is normal, I guess I'm not normal then as I could never do such horrible things to another.

Ingis Erlingsdotter - Magnolia Lane

onsdag 25 mars 2015

Ingis World of Friends

I've presented sixth of my green world sites so far and if you've paid attention they were about my home under the rainbows, and the concept of family and loving mothers, and then all my children. Each one of these sixth sites are linked up to one site each that belongs to my blue sky sites and this site about friendship is the last one that has such a link, as there are only seven blue sites. The reasons for that is for me to know and for you to not get to know, as I don't feel like mentioning it. So this is the last one with a link, and if you go and look it's linked to my site about ladies. I'm a lady of course, so when I'm looking for friends I tend to look for others, as you play best with likeminded people. I like kind and cheerful people, who both is close to their emotions and have hearts that lifts them up and will not let them fester in longtime anger and plot revenges. My policy is to leave behind those that don't live up to my standards, instead of trying to destroy them, like some sociopaths would. That's not my style. Once I've identified a bad friend I will ponder over what happened, and why it happened, but eventually I will leave all such worries in the past. For a short while I might be really obsessed over a betrayal, but that is the best way to mourn the loss of a loved one. To go straight through hell and come out from the purgatory as a wiser being. 

There are no shortcuts to understand the many different kinds of human like people there are out there, as some might not be quite human at all. Some are even quite nasty. So if you wish to visit this friendship site you should click here - Ingis World of Friends. This site began it's present configuration after I'd been part of a friendship group called Friends Near Your Heart, that a very charismatic and enthusiastic lady had started. Everyone seemed to adore her, so much that one woman, definitely not a lady, set me up so she'd start doubting me. The founder was totally positive and inspiring at the start and I was a bit overwhelmed over her instant best friends attitude. She tried to help me get friends to my own group and managed to get this member of hers to join my group too. I thought they both were just darlings, but now I know the other one only joined out of jealousy. She unsubscribed shortly after joining, and lied to my new friend that I'd banned her and been really nasty to her. All made up shit, as nothing had went on at all. I'd not written a word to her and her leaving was just as big surprise to me as to my new friend. But the trick worked and my new friend also left my group, dead upset over how cruel and nasty I'd treated her poor other friend. 
I will now tell you what the lovely, charming new friend I'd thought I was so blessed to have found was called. Her name was Celine. I will always be thankful for her trying to help me out and I do hope she's just as innocent as I was to the mess that other friend of hers manage to do. Celine seemed to totally trust that other friend, who I now realize was great at acting like the eternal victim. The more I've read up about narcissism, the more I can pin her down as a covert malignant narcissist. That's cause the coverts always use pity and loyalty to manipulate others and this cruel woman was obviously smithen by the charming and beautiful Celine. Well, everyone was, I'm sure. Celine let a nice brittish woman take over her group Friends Near Your Heart, but her health was very poor and I think the group was then transfered to another and it died. That broke my heart as it was such a beautiful thought she'd had when starting the group, but dear Celine seems more like an intense butterfly, then like the oak tree that patiently waits for hundreds of years, while growing to it's full strenght and beauty. However beautiful a butterfly is, it's shortlived and will swiftly burn out it's little spark of life and move on. So did Celine, both with groups on the net and in private.

There is not much to say really about this original group, as I've forgotten most of it, which wasn't anything spectacular. I don't like idle chatter or meaningless sharing and most groups tend to be that way and I just don't fit in them. I rather create a solid, stationary website with the theme I want to delve into, then waist my energy on chit chat. I still have six mailinglists, but I rarely use most of them. There are two lists for my Green World, one actually called that as it's made for updates on my green sites and also for things concerning my main group Magnolia Lane. The other list is for my PSP-class, my creative group, which first was intended for poems only, but then expanded to other creativity too. All the gifts I show here have been firstly created on this group and posted there. It's a very silent list still, and is mostly used to post graphics on, and nothing else. I prefer it that way and whenever I've in later years joined a group it's been very reluctantly and just for a specific issue, so not too much chatter. The other PSP-group I was on a couple of times however housed a few rude women and also the second time I was on it a narcissist manipulator. That's the reason I don't like these groups as they attracked very malignant people, who like to first befriend the leaders, then make them start witch burning campaigns.
Every group on the net have had it's own little click of insiders, and if you'd make the mistake you mattered to them, you'd made a huge mistake. The bigger the group, the less you mattered. Your only purpose was to do as you were told, make graphics, websites, or sign guestbooks. If you worked hard enough your reward would be a graphic or to stay on the group. Sometimes the graphics were lovely, but in most cases they weren't. So the point of working your butt off for others and get crap didn't appeal too much to me, when there was no chance of becoming part of the group of friends. This conclusion I came to in the early years of the new millennia, and shortly after that all these groups seem to go away by itself. The clicks of friends seemed to end in arguments and infightings. Even groups with names of angels, compassion, and other sweet sounding words did this. Just gone! The PSP-group I was part of two times actually was the remains of one such angel group that felt like they were compassionate, while they used their hirarchy to top rule the rest of us. Not very compassionate if you ask me, and the way I was treated in the PSP-group the two times I was in, was neither in any way compassionate.

That's why I realized that women like to use fancy words to hide behind, while they in reality just want to control others and feel important themselves. The more talented women they let be part of their inner circle to make all the beautiful work and lure in victims, like myself, who was looking for female friends online. There were a few of these creative ladies I really admired, but then there were a few that were just controlling and rude. You would had thought that the woman running their PSP-class was the best of them all, when coming to PSP and creative work, but the truth was that she sucked. She was however sure on herself and felt she could tell who's work was better then the others. Of course she was right in many occasions and at first she was so very nice to me I thought she was my friend. But everytime another member started badmouthing me, she was quick to believe the gossip. So that woman was not a lady either, despite what I'd hoped for, as you are not easily swayed to attack or put down your friends, if you are indeed a friend yourself. Not just by the twisted words by a deciever and word magician. I truly believe those nasty covert narcissists are that - magicians of words.
Let's talk about the gifts I've made for this site. On the top here I show you one of my own creations I made with the help of a few tubes the woman leading that other PSP-group had provided us. I put two of the tubes together and made a frame for the new image. It's the same story for the second gift, as I did the very same with that one, but added a cute flower tube she'd provided aswell. The third and the fourth gifts are both made using tutorials and I think I made them in my own PSP-group, after I've left the other group. Or rather I was tossed out after a covert narcissist had made out to the leader that I was upset with her, after she'd written to me and said that the leader was going to be very upset with me for putting the second sky colour suggested behind a vector graphics, instead of the first one. She herself had several times put backgrounds behind images were none were suggested atall, so her assumptions the leader would take particular offence with my error was both mean and unfair. Still, I did suggest that I'd re-do it as soon as I could, but instead she wrote a nasty mail about me to the leader, about how angry I was with her, so I was deleted from the group. Just a week earlier the leader had written to me that I was a top pupil, her favorite. So it's obvious why I had to go.

Ever since 2010 I've not belonged to any such women's groups anymore and I even posted on everyone of my sites that people should stop inviting me to them. Now my guestbooks do not work anymore, after Dreambook closed down, so I don't have to worry about getting such invitations anymore. Everyone is on Facebook or elsewhere today, and nobody visits private sites. I don't know were all the creative ladies went, but my guess is that either they are painting in real life or they are posting like everyone else on Facebook and such places. Perhaps this isn't anything people want to do anymore either, as those doing it ten years ago was either just doing a little on the side of their jobs, or they were quite old already. Many really good graphics creators I met back then was in the mid 60's, so they'd be like 75-80 now or even older. If they are still alive, as many were also severely ill and I know alot of very nice ladies that are not here with us anymore. That was the kind of people that had the time to play in groups, those that were disabled, but had help with their living so they could spend time playing with their computers. After 2008 that got worse as most with such pleasant lifestyles were found in the States.
During that time I ran accross many more sites and creative women, then only those in the women's groups. I found quite an number of younger women here in my own country and nearby, but then I noticed also those went away. I miss their work so much, but I understand that they had to grow up and stop playing with graphics. They were so very talented and they used to share all their great work for free on the net. Perhaps new talents took over or that kind of work went out of fashion and new kinds took over. I think if I'd looked I'd found a flood of new talents, but somehow you seem to love the first ones you fall in love with, forever. I've posted alot of others work that I really liked on all my sites, and a few friendships awards I've recieved too. All those friends are gone missing now and I never recieve anything more from them. I think alot of people with websites here in my country used to be friends and I only got to know a few of them a little bit. It seemed like most of them really didn't accept me, while a few were really kind a cheerful until one day I didn't hear from them again. There was really not an honest communication ever, like writing back and forth, with almost all of them, and it's easy for me to count those that did write anything personal to and fro.

So this site is not really that much about internet friends as it was from the start, so I changed it to include extended family more, and I put up my celebration pages for relatives on it. For many years I made lots of birthday sites to many relatives and they were all here before, but then I took a few away after I realized that a few of these people are not my friends despite that they logically ought to be, as I've always been a good friend to them. But this planet is filled with lies, deception and backstabbing people who hate you for the most weird and illogical reasons. Or atleast I don't have a clue. One clue I however have picked up in my life is smear. Like I mentioned above there are malignant, nasty, envious people in our mist, alot of them other women, who use smear to put those they envy down. The reason there is no point in trying to reveal these monsters is cause as soon as they've been caught smearing you, everyone has heard their side of the story already. Nobody wants yours. If you'd try to reveal the truth everyone will look upon your revelations as proof of all the lies your smearer has been telling about you. That's how evil and devious female bullies are, you see. They tell their tales so they are the poor victims of you, so when you try to show the world how nasty they are you come out as the bully they claim you are!
Most of my life I've had one or two really close friends and today I must say that the closest friends I have are my husband and my oldest brother. Another one that is very close to me is my oldest daughter, as she was the one child that I could talk to and apart from a period in her later teens when she didn't feel like I was much to talk to, we've always talked. However, we can tend to get a bit intense as we are also very emotional both of us. But she's the female I now talk to about matters the most, even if I don't talk that much with her anymore. Her younger sister has never liked to talk about "boring" subjects so there is not much meaning in pursuing that road, even if we love each other dearly. Another child I can talk to is my oldest son, so all in all it seems like I have two children that I can be somewhat friendly to, or talking to, which is why you have friends. I think that is pretty amazing and I do hope that once my younger two are fully grown they too one day can talk to me more. Friends do not have to be people outside of your family, as sometimes the best friends are people you are related to. I used to be friends with relatives in my family of origin too, as I mentioned, but now there is only one left that I am a friend with as the rest turned out to not be my friends at all. 

It's like this with friendships that are ended, that outsiders never understand why you brake up. They tend to think you were overreacting and that nothing is that bad. I tell you that if I brake up a friendship with someone they've done pretty horrible things for quite along period of time. I'm the kind that rather swallow the shit then make a big row about it. And then I try to forget and move on. That's how I've been with my family of origin for 50 years, until they just had to go over the top and totally fuck with me in the most horrible and cruel manor they could come up with. I will not go into all the shit they did here, but I tell you that if I was supposed to eat that shit too and not stand up for what I knew was right I would not have any self dignity left. I'd feel like a shithead, a lying, pathetic cow, for the rest of my life, if I'd not stood up for what was right and true at that moment. I've watched them rob me and my children out of so much money for so long, but this was not right. I could not let them do this again, with so much money, when I knew and they knew that I've hardly gotten anything all these years, compaired to them. And now I knew they wanted to oppose our fathers last will, just to screw me and my children over one last time.
That's the reason they are now spreading their own smear about me to all our extended family and friends. What I've heard their tale is that I'm jealous cause father gave them houses and I want to steal those houses from them. And then they add alot of sob stories to that tale about how I'm having a hate campaign about them, particulary one about the sister who showed me the proof that her house was never a gift from father to her at all. She must had showed it to me to create all this conflict, while she at the same time had been telling everyone that she was so affraid I was going to fight her over the house. I'm sure she's been telling people that I've been jealous about that house, while in truth I believed her and never thought about it. Until she showed me the proof, after father died, that she'd lied to me all these years. First I thought she might not had lied all the time, only in the beginning, as the paper was made four years after she'd begun spinning her story about her getting the house from father. So at first I thought she must surely had stopped saying that after the paper was made in 1996, and that it was only our mother who'd been telling that story after that time. That was what I thought in 2012, when I read the paper, and what I thought until my sister lied the year after.

That's when I knew she was never my friend and I deleted everything about my sister on this page. Up till that day, when she lied about her showing the paper, denying it, I'd believed she deep down was my friend for life. That was one of the most cruelest waking ups I've ever had, and it took quite awhile to get the feeling of sick to go away, the nauseating sick feeling that is. It's like the wife who's believed her husband was faithful all those years and then suddenly finds out he's had a mistress for years. It's a shock to realize that someone you choose to trust is really not a person worth that trust. I would say that of all betrayals I've encountered in my whole life this one by my sister takes the top score. Nobody else in my life has done something so horrible to someone they owe so much to, and ought to care so much for what that person thinks of them. It just does not make any sense to me that you'd do that, until I read up on personality disorders and there was the only answer. A normal person, without any drug problems, would cherrish the love of their closest kin too much to do such a thing, but a person without a conscience, no remorse, no lasting sentimental feelings for neither mothers or other caregivers, she would not care who she toss under the bus.
The purple gift with the grapes and the wine glass is from my last birthday page for my sister. When I see that gift it makes me really sad, as it reminds me of how selfish and void my sister truly must be. While I made her a big birthday basket on her 30th birthday, driving around with my four little ones to find everything to put in that basket for her, she bought a cheap rubbish stick in the ugliest vase ever for my 40th. Of course she pitched in with half the cost for a massage, but gave herself also one. A whole one. The webpage I made for her while my grandson and daughter was in hospital fighting for his little life, as I could not go to my sisters birthday party. Even if there hadn't been the issue with my sick and prematured grandchild I had no money. None at all. She didn't seem to understand this and I still don't think she does. So I made her this pretty site instead and wasted time to make it specially for her. When I barely survived to 50, as I'd had a longterm bloodillness that's been too long undetected, she gave me a postcard with a champagne bottle and an empty promise she'd pay a day at the spa with her, if I only came to see her. That sounded very nice, only that both my daughter and mother had told her I didn't want to go to the spa. I even told mother to tell her "over my dead body I did that again".

Still, I didn't broke off cause she obviously is totally insensitive, does not care for what I want, and only want to give me what she likes to do. No, I've seen that my whole life with her that she only cares for her own ideas and therefore ruins things for others. She's not a good friend to anyone, if that is how she treats people, as people want gifts that they've wished for, not something the giver wants. In this respect she's much like her real mother, as that is something she'd do. I am the kind that tries to figure out who a person is, before I buy them a gift. It's not always easy, but I do try. To buy people things you yourself like, and refuse to look who the other is, that is not friendly at all. It's a sign of disrespect. It's even rude. How rude people get away with this behavior and still make you stay as a friend, is cause they make you feel stupid for liking stupid things. They straight out bully you, devalue you and that's the way they keep friends. I don't know if she has friends she's nice to, but only that I was not treated in a nice enough way, and I don't believe I had too high demands. I'd say that careless treatment of your friends is the major reason they decide to stop socializing with the rude person. But rude people most likely don't care when friends they treat badly leave them, as otherwise they'd not treated them so poorly.
What I'm trying to say is that if you notice your friend is starting to treat you worse then before, avoiding you, putting you down, making snidy remarks to you, joke about you with others in hurtful ways or doing anything else that do not feel okey for you, then you should take it as a sign that your friend is not a friend at all. It might be a very cruel way of ending your friendship made by a person who only uses people as friends and then ditch them. However, it happens that a friend starts to behave irritated towards you cause you've hurt them yourself. Many people think they have a right to put down others and treat them like they were stupid just for having opposing opinions on something. That will make the one who actually know much more about a subject very annoyed, particulary when being ridiculed by someone who is brainwashed by media to think a certain way. It's hard to know that you know alot and not being able to communicate all you know in words in a few short lines to a person who's dead set at ridiculing you. If you've treated a friend that way you might not be surprised if they don't like you anymore, so if that is the case you might count on them seemingly withdrawing from you and treating you worse and worse. It's a question with the hen and the egg, who came first.

The first time I got seriously annoyed with my sister was at Christmas 2006. Up until then I've not really lingered onto anything she'd said or done, no matter how annoying it had been. I think she just managed to backstab me too many times starting from that Christmas. It was that event that made me decide to not come and visit her again, as what happened on that visit was so devestating for me that it made me very ill for a couple of weeks afterwards. I never have forgiven her for what she said and how she behaved that Christmas. She more or less tossed me to the dogs. She used me to take all the shit so she could get away without having to take any. It was cowardly and it was something I'd never in a millions years would had done to her, as I've always been on her side and always supported her and had her back covered. But she could clearly see how ill I was, and I had became this ill starting from helping her move three years earlier. Another one bullying me that Christmas was mother, and she knew all about how ill I'd been. But of some reason I didn't expect anything else then nasty betrayal from that bitch, but from my sister I expected far more so that was the event that made me see who she was like and it wasn't me.
Let's talk about the other gifts, as I did mention the purple grapes, which is a creation I made using the paintings of a great artist. The lady with the hat is made from a tutorial and so is the old times graphic with the little children. The pink picture with the 20's girl and the vase with the flowers are also made with tutorials. The victorian lady looking towards the ship is made with a tutorial, although I added a frame and the one below here I played with several tutorials and added them into a whole picture and added a few girls from tubes to the room. Of all the items in that picture I've made the candle in the foreground, the clay pot to the left of the stove, and I've made the stove and the green vases and the whole candlestick between the vases. Then I tried to make it look like a brick wall and a wooden floor and framed the whole thing. At the bottom of this post there is also a tag, which I made using a selection tutorial. That was all the gifts that I've choosen to show here, but there are many more graphics on the site. One thing I have on the site is pages with graphics and poems one can choose to send to a friend. So called friendships cards. 

A friend is someone who listens to you, but also someone who cares what you say. I have a little book about friendship I've had since I was a small child, and I used to read it alot also to my own children. What a true friend is. A true friend is actually more someone who cares about you alot, then someone who only listens to you. Someone who only listens might not like you, and might even use all you say to harm you with it, as by listening they learn all your likes and dislikes, but also about everything that you've been hurt by before. So a true friend is someone who cares to avoid hurting you, and particulary knows how to avoid repeating any old trauma you've already been thrue. A friend is someone who's there for you when you need someone, and that is true. When I've needed a friend I've noticed some people are never there. People I truly thought would be the first to be there, wasn't at all. A friend is someone who looks after you when you are ill, and help you when you are too overwhelmed. Again, I've had to realize that this is not the case, that the people I thought would be there, they were not. So friends have been occasional others in those matters, and in most cases there has only been my husband.
Already when I was very young I was used to not have that many friends, and despite having a few periods I did seemingly have many they were never that close and eventually I kind of realized that I'm more of a loner then a person with friends. I like to have friends, but it becomes too painful to go through one betrayal after another so atlast I deceided to stop trying so hard to have friends. If a friend would come it was ment to be, otherwise I will just hang out with people I meet and be friendly to them. I truly believe you can be a friend for a day, and make a difference. If you try to cling on to people and have expectations you are bound to be disappointed. In some way or another they will betray you, atleast by believing lies and fictions some malignant toxic person made up. It never fails and that is my greatest fear with having friends, as that is so hurtful whenever it happens, that someone you thought knew you believe utter crap about you. Today there are ex-friends out there who became my ex-friends cause they believed such foul lies about me. To imagine that a person who might have known me for decades, almost a lifetime, can put trust in the most horried smear about me, and still be considered to ever have cared for me or been my friend is ridiculous. Of course such a person was never my friend.

So the conclusion with friends is that it's better to have a few you can trust, and who truly trusts you and wont believe crap about you, then to have many that only use your friendship and help, but don't care for you and don't believe in you really. Fake friends is worse then straight out open enemies, as you will trust them and tell them things they can use against you, so they are the worst. The only way to know who's a real friend and who's a fake friend is to put them through the process of listening to smears and lies about you. A true friend would listen to your side of the story before judging you, while a fake friend would not care for a word you had to say in your defence. You are judged by the slander they've heard and might in many cases help out to slander you more just to gain popularity with the one slandering you. A true friend would listen to reason, look at facts and would not let themselves be smithen by sweet words and popularity. Actually some of the most canneving people are very nice, sweet and seemingly caring. It's cause you catch more flies with honey and alot of bullshit then you do with being straight and honest. People like to be charmed and that's why friends are hard to come by. Also most people already have friends, so the ones still searching might be those butterflies, that never can settle down. The oak trees have already choosen long time ago.

Ingis Erlingsdotter - Magnolia Lane

lördag 21 mars 2015

Narcissistic Trait - Overstepping Boundaries

Sometimes we don't read a reply from someone until a year later for a reason.

I don't know if it's okey for me to publish this thread that occured on another persons blog. But shortly after she'd been found by the family she turned the blog off so I could not find it anymore. I found the reply to my comments to these two young persons nasty remarks to an older relative thanks to Google+ saving them. In my opionion it's a sign of malignancy that you have to write such malicious things to another person, as there is nothing in her blog that deserves this. I have not been able to find the first comment made by the nephew - Taras boyfriend Brian? - where he says it was lies that his mother had done a thing the blog mentioned. The blogger writes she had evidence however. I replied to him and asked him politely if he'd asked his aunt for the evidence, and so far Brian has been totally unable to answer my question. This is the same behavior as my rotten to the core relatives have. They stall to not have to admit that they DO NOT CARE for the evidence.

At the end it's better to know then to guess.

Here is the comment by Tara to only nice words about her in the blog. She pretends she doesn't want to be named on the blog and then writes under her own surname, which does not make any logical sense to me:
Tara Brantley - 27 jan. 2014
Let me start by saying this is the "nice mom". My son is kade. The grandchild of Linda. He's a Blackwell and they are considered my family now. Thank u for speaking highly of me but u don't know me or my son. U don't even know ur own nephews at that. So maybe u should learn to keep ur mouth shut. Now write a blog on bitch moms bc that's me ;) 
Ur a evil person who needs help and a life. Maybe a hobby to. Start at the gym!!! DONT EVER WRITE ABOUT MY FAMILY AGAIN. WE ARE NON OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. LEAVE MY SONS NAME OUT OF UR BLOGS AND UR MOUTH!!!!!!!!! Now god bless

_________________________________________________________________________

What is even worse is people trying to prove people wrong, like Tara did.
Me again: Tara is not a nice person obviously, as she just proved the aunt wrong in her reply to the aunt. A nice person should had written a personal message to their aunt, and asked politely to not write their names out in her blog. I will here suggest how she'd write it, to not behave unbalanced, like she does above:

"Dear aunt, could you please respect my wishes to have my sons name and my name deleted from your blog? Also, I'd be very thankful if you'd not use any names on people I now concider my family, as I don't want people to know what you talk about has to do with this family. Thanks for your help, Tara."

Count on being hated if you leave the abusive situation.
To this comment by Tara the blog writer wrote a very kind reply, but it's not there anymore, unfortunately. I've never seen ANY nasty comments or remarks by this lady about her family, and this is the way they treat her. This is NOT the way you talk to older relatives - EVER. I feel filled with shame - for Brian and Tara - when I read their comments to their aunt. But this is what they do - write nasty things to their abuse victims - in these kind of families. It's the poor litte beaten down little sick lady they attack this way!!! That's the horrible truth. You should had heard what my narc brother was screaming to my very old and kidney sick aunt and my old and heart sick father when nobody was listening. I wish I had. All I have is the words of the aunt and she was totally in shock when she told me. Or the things my mother was yelling at her old and cancer sick mother. But again, nobody else could hear as the abuse went on with the old and sick alone with their abuser! That's why it's gold when they WRITE their evil comments down like this, as it's proof how rude and heartless some can be towards others.

A woman is not a good mother just cause she gave birth to a child.
Here is what I replied to the blog owner, as she was so very kind to this Tara despite of this young woman's total lack of selfcontrol:

Ingis - 16 mars 2014
I think you were way too nice, but I get were you come from in replying this way. She's already "infested" with the bug. I've seen this before. It's cause of all the hateful lies they've been fed, so to them, whatever is written, how true it might be, will always be "evil lies" as that is what they've been brainwashed to believe. What upset me most with Brian's post is how he totally ignored that about your health. I bet he's heard it's all in your head. That's my guess, as I overheard my sis lie to her husband that she had no idea I've been seriously ill. She immediatly changed the topic, instead of asking him "What do you mean", like a normal person. So, why did he seem to think that was normal, just ignoring this information? My bet, and only my guess, is that he already "knew" I was a liar and that whatever I said was no big deal. Perhaps my sis explained it to him later, how I "always make up stuff like that". Which is totally insane, but I've come to realize that these people ARE totally insane. About checking for evidence, those brainwashed will never ever dream about actually checking real physical evidence. When confronted with such evidence they will only ignore it. That's the power of belief. 

It's scary to contact someone as you don't know their reactions.
Here is a comment from Brian under Tara's very insulting input, in respons to my comment to his aunt, not to Tara, as I was not talking to the rude girl:

Brian Blackwell - 18 mars 2014
Look, I'm sorry that Susan is so messed up. I mean, she's been a complete wreck. That sucks. Just don't take it out on my family by inventing a bunch of hateful nonsense and then creating blogs (plural!) just to broadcast it. This blog clearly demonstrates how confused she still is.

_________________________________________________________________________

Abusers like to get you all alone so they can easily destroy you.
Me again: Remember - there was NOTHING hateful in the blog Brian refers to about any of them. They are only projecting unto their aunt their own feelings. 

After I found Brians new insults to his aunt I replied now a year later - as soon as I read it:

Ingis - 17 mars 2015
Interesting how you proved my points to a teeth. You did not once argue against the statements about evidence, so obviously you, just like my family, does NOT care for reality. If there is something pathologically ILL it's psychotic people living in a fairy world, with no contact with reality. And guess what, Brian? Alice in Wonderland... If you walk among crazy people too long you're bound to get a bit crazy too. So don't blame "Alice". Atleast she got out and got help. When will you?

The Cat warns Alice as craziness are contagious.
Here are a couple of more comments from Brian after I've tried to wind him up to get him to show his cards:

Brian Blackwell - 19 mars 2015
Of course there is no evidence. I don't go around documenting my interactions with my family. It wouldn't surprise my in the least if my aunt did, though. She's out there. Like fuckin' Pluto. I was simply relating my memories of the events that occurred. They're probably not one hundred percent accurate, because, of course memory never is, but they're not some sort of bizarre fabrication. The majority of your comment is nonsensical - are you off your meds? - but you at least you managed to resuscitate part of this petty, sophomoric blog that my aunt frantically deleted when some folks called her on her bullshit. 

People can either uplift you or crush you, so be wise whom you let in.
Brian Blackwell - 19 mars 2015
By the way, I sort of figured the blog had only been made private, not deleted. Gotta insulate that sad little community - the what? three people who read it? Wait, who lacks contact with reality, again?

_________________________________________________________________________

Me again: As you can see he makes a pathetic attempt on bullying me too. Modus operandi for the narcissist! And - NOTICE ONE THING - this is a major warning I've been putting out there a long time for people dealing with narcissists and abusers. NEVER EVER DELETE YOUR BLOGS or anything you have going due to them finding them, as they will spread smear about you doing it cause "they called you out on your bullshit". To me it's gold the way Brian keeps on deflecting the issue as he was not prepared that someone would speak up for his aunt. He had like all bullies convinced himself she was all on her own and that noone cared for her. It's cause people don't want to do the tango of the narcissist - the shouting and calling names - they manage to convince themselves that their target is all alone. In many cases most people are on the side of the one they are targeting. In this case there might actually only be Brian, his mom, girlfriend, granny and a few odd malicios hags and shitheads that wish to smear some sweet woman they've bullied a lifetime. All the while most in the extended family might think they are just prats, all of them, and their "righteousness" is merely in their heads. That might very well be the case.

When you walk away count on being lied about.
Us nice people don't like drama and we don't like being insulted and we don't like really to insult our relatives, so we tend to withdraw when the mean narcissists start their hate campaign on us. That is another big WARNING. They will use this grand "being gracious and not fight back" attitude of ours as a weapon in their smear campaign and claim that you are off in a corner feeling SHAME !!! That you are "hiding out of guilt", and so on. A narcissist will use ANYTHING you do or don't do to your disadvantage and their advantage.

Isn't there anything we can do then? Well, there is. Don't budge one inch. Never give in, never give up, just be yourself and keep on going. And do not care what they say about you. Don't care that they find your blogs, use that to your advantage. They have weak spots - their huge egos. If you write things that triggers them they might start such a ridiculous hate campaign that it's not possible for people to not feel sick of them. That's to your advantage, as they will then come out as the bullies they are. The triggers must not be anything openly rude or nasty, like Brians and Taras comments are, but something looking nice to others. Like this blog by Susan was.

This is the reason I never replies to any lying shit my family say about me.
Susans blog was a delight to read and it's a shame she gave in to them and closed it. Perhaps she didn't want others to see how badly raised Brian was by his mother and how rude this girl Tara was? Perhaps she wanted to spare them the embarassment? On the other hand - today behaviors like Brian's and Tara's are the norm and nice people like this lady Susan is not. Nice is precious and what's normalized is hateful behavior. To bully people into submission and silence them has become the norm. To listen to the harmed people has become a rare thing. But things are changing - the meek is standing up and wont have this anymore. That's why the bullies are screaming so loud right now - they feel it. They feel that the meek wont stand this much longer. The mouse is roaring - the mouse has become a lion. And the bullies are just little calves really... :D

Truth is not going away even when all believe the lie.
Here is my comment to Brian from yesterday when I kept pushing the question - whether he ever asked for the evidence:

Ingis - Yesterday 00:12
1) "Of course there is no evidence": That is no proof there is none that you "imagine" that there are none. I still get the very clear impression that you've not ASKED for the evidence. Just like none in my family ever did and when I post the evidence they instead focus on nonsens, just like you do. It's called "divertion" and a tactic used to confuse and hide truth. 

2) Your insults don't bother me as they only confirm that you are suffering from a malignant personality disorder as you were indeed extremely rude in all your replies to your aunt, so no wonder she made her blog privat. You are harassing a poor woman, something I hope I'll never have to live and see any of my nephews do. Shame on you! Bad boy. :D 

3) Please reply to me in my own language from now on and then make it perfectly without ever lived in my country one second of your pathetic life - prat. (Or perhaps you didn't get the Alice reference? No wonder then - prats rarely get much.)

If you speak the truth you will only hear insults from those bastards.
Here is Brians last comment, after he yet again refused to answer my question if he ever has asked his aunt for the evidence:

Brian Blackwell - Today 01:48
My aunt made crazy malicious claims against my mom. I was irate about her manipulative and hostile behavior. Now, her character assignation strategy has gone from infuriating to boring, just like this conversation. Peace out.
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Me again: I honestly have a very hard time to understand Brian's english. He says my comments make no sense, but I'm not english speaking. He is. So why doesn't his make sense? What is a "character assignation strategy"??? You assign something to someone like a job, so is his aunt trying to give his mother character? But that is very nice of her! I don't get Brians problem with letting the older sister try to teach her younger sister some good manners, right from wrong - well, you know - all signs of a person with a solid character. Something Brian himself has shown he lacked when he wrote those words above about his aunt. He does not even know what went on, like he claims in a comment further up. Like HE was there during their upbringing, which is ridiculous. So much on his aunts blog he cannot possible know, so how can he even say she's lying? And the claims against his mom his aunt says she has EVIDENCE of, which Brian refuses to look at, or even ask for. He even refuses to talk about them.

There are many more better signs.
NOTICE - Brian refuses to answer the question if he EVER has asked his aunt for this evidence she claims she has of what she says about his mother. I've told Brian that this is the same behavior my family has, that noone wants to hear or see my evidence that my sister is lying about me. Just like Brian they only defame me and lie more about me, and REFUSE to hear or see the evidence. When they do see some, they pretend to not understand, and then they lie about the content of the evidence to confuse people. Brian keeps avoiding the question, which makes it clear he never has seen the evidence and most certainly never tried to. Sadly, even if Brian had seen the evidence I'm sure he'd do like my relatives when they heard I had a witness confirming my side, which totally destroyed the credibility of my sister, which was to ignore this fact. That's what bullies do - even when shown evidence they lie about it and ignore it. So it would not matter if Brian seen it, I only wanted to hear himself say what he'd done. When he kept avoiding the question it was clear that he didn't want to know, and that is a typical sign of mind control. Like many say - sociopaths are like wicked witches putting a spell on people so they can't see or hear properly. I call such sociopathic liars for enchanters and to those under their spell the witch's every word is like the gospel of god almighty. When you get too close to shake the foundation of a true believer they will run away from you, just like Brian did. He didn't want to speak to me. he he he

Even if Brian is a narcissist there is no excuse for him being rude to his aunt.
My sister and brother claim they can prove I'm a liar, but their proof is that I'm naming her Bertilsson in 1996. She married in 1994 and was married until 1999, and then called Bertilsson. That's their ONLY proof that I'm a liar! And it does not make sense as she WAS CALLED that name then, so they are the liars by refering to nonsens. They are using this claim about the "wrong name" I gave to prove that I've not read the paper it was on. They try to make people believe the paper was from 1992, obviously, but I clearly state in their own "proof" that the paper was from 1996. Then they say that this is proof of me never reading the paper, and then they accuse me of stealing the same paper. Isn't that insane for you? I'm supposed to NEVER have read the paper and at the same time my relatives are accusing me of stealing it. Guess when I did that stealing? When I can prove I was far far away on another place and there are physical evidence that I was no where near that place at that time. Do they care? Of course they don't. They all know my sister is lying about me when she says I didn't read the paper, and they all know she lies when she says I've stolen it. They all know that I was not there at the time she says I was, and that I didn't look through those drawers which she says I did. She's so full of lies, and they all know she is, but they don't care. As long as they can frame me for all of her doing, it's fine with my bad brother, my nasty mother and all the rest of my hateful relatives.

Those who refuse to learn never get wiser.
But Brian gets nothing I write as he must be very bad in english, as I'm sure he ment "character assassination" and not assignation - is that a word even? Yes it is and I was totally 100% correct in what it ment! It means to assign something to somebody, like in this case to assign character, so hence wanting to aid and help this person to become a better person. To me it seems that some higher forces aided Brian in his writting and without him noticing it made him write the correct version of reality. That his dear aunt was helpfully trying to aid his mother gaining some better qualities to her character. Wasn't that nice of her, wasn't that sweet? Indeed it was! How I must adore it when higher forces do that - make people write the truth while trying to write the lie. Many like to call this a Freaudian slip, like your unconscious mind leaks through and makes you say the truth instead of what you indended to say. Indeed, that might be what happened as I'm sure Brian knows the truth, but adores his mother too much to see it. He's her pet and he wants to stay in her favor, so by bullying her sister he hopes his mama is going to love him more - I bet. he he he

Abusers have no empathy so there is no reason to cry for them, leave them.
Here is my two last replies to Brians comments, and I do admit that I'm not such a sweetheart as his aunt is and I doubt she'd even like me speaking like this to poor deluded Brian-boy, but I don't know him and he's just another prat on the net to me: 

Ingis - Today 12:38
Did your mother approve of you two writing insulting messages to her sister like this? If she did support your aggressions I'd say all that is said on this blog about her being a narcissist then is confirmed, if she did. If she didn't approve of your behavior I think it's a good choice of you to crawl back under her skirt and don't do it again, little boy and little girl Tara too. I've heard worse things uttered about my mother then what this sweet lady says about your mom and I still love them saying it as it was all true. Remember that - it took me 20 years to realize it was all true, and was I glad I'd not behaved like dritsaks (=shitbags) then and treated my uncles and aunts badly. I know this is not the only relative you have that has left the nest to never return again. I've read this blog and it's clear this is the second aunt doing that. It was a long time ago since I read it - since it's not up anymore and I only found your reply thanks to my Google+ account. But I do seem to remember there was an uncle too. 

I'm a knitter so all narcissistic vampires - beware!
So, how come you try to make me think this is an anomally? I think she's very brave who dares to write about her childhood and feelings. A very brave woman, though I don't know her, but I've read what she has to say many times and it's clear she knows what she talks about. She's a classic narcissistic abuse survivor, whom of course suffered alot from this trauma, which might be so severe the only option is to get help. Your reasoning is like you blame the trauma victim who's been attacked and severly beaten for needing help mend his broken bones. That is pretty cruel of you - saying that it's the beaten persons fault for having broken bones, not the assaulter. It's also clear who broke her "bones" when you read the blog and you might be too lazy to do that, and are only stuck on something you didn't like about your mama, like the little mama's boy you are. Your mama is obviously the spoiled rotten child, which is another form of child abuse, to not teach your child right from wrong. And I can see that neither did you (get that lesson). So go home and grow a conscience and become a man. Attacking little ladies... what a whimp.

Ingis - Today 14:59
"Now, her character assignation strategy has gone from infuriating to boring" I think it's very noble of the older sister to wish to assign some better character for her younger sister, who's obviously must lack it as she has bred such a bad boy as yourself. :D

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People who try and belittle you and put you down you should leave.
Me again: I want to make this 100% clear. I would in no circumstances allow any of my children to go to my smearers FACEBOOK accounts and start badmouthing them the way Tara and Brian have been doing here on this lady's blog. No matter if they believe what she writes are lies, I don't agree that such behavior is being a balanced persons actions. People can write what they want on their own blogs, and also on their different channels or YouTube accounts. As long as they don't steal others material and obscure the source I think you can do what you want. Others material might also be to post photos of people that they don't want to have posted on the net, but Brian's aunt had posted a photo that already WAS on the net and she made comments about the photo. Perhaps one might not agree with her opinions, but she has all the right in the world to have these opinions. However, people bullying her and badmouthing her like Brian and Tara did due to her opinions are the ones overstepping. They went into another persons home - her blog - and pissed on her rugs. Figuratively speaking.

Added input 25/3: In MY family I'm the older sister wanting to assign better character, but in this other family it's the other way around, and despite this obvious ERROR of me, little Brain still thinks I'm of his family... How slow can you get. I get confused BECAUSE I'm not his aunt, not cause I'm his "crazy aunt who's confused". No, I'm a STRANGER who's confused - stupid! :D

Freedom is to let go of people who don't honor your rights.
If you have opinions about another persons work, blogs, channels or opinions I don't think it should be too hard to express them in a civil tone and to not insult them. The way both Tara and Brian have choosen to speak to their aunt shows me without doubt that everything written in her blog is all true. This level of total lack of respect for an older relative you only see in abusive families and I'm glad that the younger generation in my family has not reached that level of boundary braking yet. I've always been dead nice to the two children that belongs to those two siblings of mine that are at the moment having a hate campaign going about me, so it would truly be heartbraking if the next generation went all malignant too. It's the same kind of hate campaign our malignant mother had about her siblings during the settling of their mothers left overs, so it's history repeating itself. Mother wanted more then her siblings and made life utter hell for her siblings for two years to achieve this. Just like her golden children are doing now, and also she helps them with, foul lies of mental illness and all sorts of shit was made up to defame those opposing mothers intention. She confused the whole settling, like narcissists always do and where we are now too, as they are confusing the heck out of the lawyer doing the work. He's even tried to con us on their behalf, just to make it go away! (They want 30% more on their lot then they wish us to have. That's one million more!)

People who try to cause you pain should you avoid.
After mother had robbed her nicest brother out of 50 K she went on to bully my father, by forcing him to shift their estate too. He'd earned everything in it, and she'd lived for free on him, keeping all her own earnings to herself, and then she wanted 50% of all his hardwork, while she withhold about 75% or more of all her own wealth so not having to share half of what she had with him. She bullied him as much as she could and he finally gave in, just like her brother did, to get some peace and quiet. Now she's helping my siblings doing the same to me and another brother. But particulary towards me as I'm the one speaking out and revealing it. My brother believe you are a better person to keep you gob shut, just like father believed. That's why I hated my father for so long as I believed so much lies about him, and now I'm angry with him for letting me hating him. He could had told me the whole truth and made me see how much he loved me, instead I feel he also bought lies about me, which confused him. Sometimes when I met him he was very rude to me and hurt my feelings so much I didn't want to see him for months. 

To live honestly is to live lightly.
Why he was rude to me I will never know, but many relatives have been rude to me for no reason what so ever too. Then they turn around and are dead nice to my sister! Just like they thought she was some innocent angel they could trust and I a horrible demon they should shun. I smell smear long way as this was the way a boss I had treated me for years, until she told me about some smear she'd heard about me four years earlier. It turned out she'd been acting so nasty to me all those years ONLY due to that smear. Smear seems to have a huge effect on how people treat you, and now I know the difference between a persons behavior towards you when they believe smear, and when they don't. My boss totally had changed her behavior after she realized she'd listened to evil smear and that was when she felt she had to ask my forgiveness for doing so. She was a christian and a priest so I guess that played part in her need to confess. Most will however try to find proof instead that the smear they'd believed in and acted upon was truthful. That's how bullying just goes on. The priest had finally figured out that nothing she'd been told could be true, cause my smearer had never had anything to do with me. She just made shit up as the church board went against her will and hired me! Yes, the smearer was also a christian, but obviously not a real one, but a faker.

To let go means to remember, to understand, and then leave it.
Please, leave EVERYONE behind that do not treat you right. Don't engage in people that will not respect you. If you feel hurt and badly treated and you see the same people are dead kind to others, leave them. There are bloody hell millions and billions of humans out there. You don't have to be stuck with those that don't want you to thrive and be the best you can be! You deseve to be loved and admired for being the beautiful soul you are. Take care and hope you didn't wet yourself when reading this. he he he - I think it was quite innocent, but then I know alot of people can't stand those "holy narcissists" being criticized in any way. Remember - Tara and Brian both choose to take this out in the open, using their own real names - and I never would had posted their names unless they themselves had. :D

Ingis Erlingsdotter - Magnolia Lane