After being no contact with my mother awhile I did answer a phone call and it was blatant that she was using her sister's cancer to gain my sympathy, just so she could ask to come and visit. I had however actually already felt it was time to have a total outing with her. So she called and immediately started to tell some horrible story about my poor aunt's terrible fall and how she'd had had cancer a full year. I found that a very odd coincidence as my aunt on father's side had said to my oldest brother that it was our sister who had gotten cancer at that time. Of course she had not. It was mother's sister. Sometimes you don't know with these people if they are making up absolute new stories after hearing the correct things, or if someone is actually filling their heads with crap. At the same time as our sister was said to have gotten cancer, according to the aunt, our mother said to the same brother she had changed her will. And recently I was told by this aunt that she'd take us siblings out of her will. Thinking back I'm not sure she ment all of us, or just the two honest ones. I would not be surprised if she feels that lying and conning should be rewarded as I honestly don't know how any of these people think. If they think at all.
After mother had told me the whole, sad story about her sister she asked how it was going with her dog she once dumped on me and never came and got back. So I told her she was diagnosed with cancer this January and that I'd had surgery made on her, but that she still had the cancer and was getting old. And that part of course gave her a perfect excuse to ask to come and visit, as it is her dog even if she's not cared doodlings for her these last 3½ years, since she dumped her. The pretence was therefore she'd come and see the dog one last time, and I said that was ok, as I'm not a total prat. That was just some day or so before she suddenly phoned and said she was all packed and on her go. I was at that time trying to put together a few things that I wanted her to apologies for, as she had said that she never meddled with the death estate after our father, and that she never ever would take sides. So I wanted her to say sorry for that, and a few other things, which seemed as if she'd believed lies about me and run with that, or she'd totally projected over the top false intentions and actions unto the wrong person, or just turned it around so defence of someone else, came out as if it was abuse. I wont go into details here, but the thing is she painted defence as an attack, while the attacker was another person.
So I had a few things I needed to get an apology for, and I wanted her to agree to do that. When she phoned and told me she was already coming I immediately informed her about this. And about a few other things, as she so totally had her knickers on the wrong way, from how screwed up things she believed. Like I have said she's been totally brainwashed by these con artists, and sometimes I wonder if she's not brainwashing herself too. What did happen was that she agreed to sign a written apology, and I then made a draft and hoped we could agree upon something that would make both of us feel as if this was now over with and we could move on from this and all be forgiven. As when you truly are regretful and have understood you've hurt someone, you do apologise. What did happen in reality was that I said I was sorry to her as soon as she arrives, since I was so angry in the phone. And I also said that I did really love her, and she said she loved me too, and then she showed no interest what so ever in apologising to anything herself. She just laughed all my hurts off or claimed she was entitled to treat me and other people this horrible way. She could smear me behind my back and claim falsehood about me, and after talking to her I could hear so many more lies, even lies by omission.
In the version she's heard, alot of all the deeds and actions we've taken to fairly sort this mess out with everyones honor still intact, had NEVER been mentioned. We found out quite alot of things she's never been told, but as it always is she soon choosed to ignore such things that did not add up with the brainwashing these conners done on her. Or if she's brainwashed herself, as I can't judge for sure who is brainwashing who in this terrible mess. A tangled web of lies it is. I did pick out many lies by mother, and things she's said as if it was true, while she soon after defended herself with not knowing anything. I said to her that why did she not say so in the first place then, instead of stating things that made me look as if I for sure was at a place, at a time, when I was not. Things like that she could not know what papers I or my sister looked at the first weekend after father had died. If she'd say such a thing to the brother in the States, he'd think I was there looking at papers, when in reality mother knows I was not even there, so how can she not know that I did NOT EVEN look at any papers? This is the kind of lies they pull, as stating she does not remember this, makes it look as if I was indeed there, while in reality she's not saying I was there, just that she cannot remember something.
So the final result was that she could not regret anything of all the things she's taken part in, which she already even a few claimed she never would do, and now when confronted with evidence she had done them, she said she had a right to do. So she felt I was bullying her as I was very adamant on getting this apology signed, atleast in some version of it. And she started instead with the normal narcissistic reactions, which is insulting me again the same way as I demanded an apology for her doing. Which is claiming I'm mental and need to talk with someone who can help me out. Of course to make me furious, as she saw I wanted her to apologize for that very thing. I got mad at her and asked her what an outsider could do about my sister lying? How could a priest help me solve this mess with the estate? It's like totally crazy think! How could anyone make these people magically treat me like a human being? No, they could not. I told her that all they could do was listen to me rant, endlessly in circles, about this and nothing would change, nothing get solved. It would be a total waste of time as the lies would not stop no matter how much I talk to a stranger about it.
The answer is that it would make me be able to deal with living with it, which is total nonsens. We are not supposed to accept abuse from others. That is not fair to demand of another being, that they should learn to live with horrible abuse in the form of being lied about, defamed as a villain who lies about things and do nasty things. Nobody should have to live with such stigma, put on them by others who want to rid themselves of their own deeds and guilt. That is what mother demands of me, that I accept the lies my sister and brother, and also she, has told about me. Accept them as truth. And I told her I will never do that, so there is no point in me going to some therapist who brainwash me into believing I deserve to be treated this way. It will never happen that I do that, as I think it's them who are framing innocent people and never can take responsibility for their own actions who need therapy. I totally - 100% - think my mother, brother and sister need therapy due to their pathological lying. There you have it.
The other things mother did yet again, which was already on my list of things I needed an apology for, what accusing me of over the top crimes. She was holding onto two believes at the same time, which is typical of these people. First she thought I should forget about the house agreement, as my sister had left the house. Therefore my wish for her to come clean and admit I never lied about the agreement, and never stolen the agreement, were totally nonsens requests, and it was LIVING IN THE PAST. Then she turned around when I wanted her to apologise for meddling and testifying (to us siblings, not in court as she dreamed up as that will never happen, as what she thinks she knows has ZERO value in a court). Suddenly she claimed that this house agreement was going to court, and that she was going to testify there, so therefore I was making a criminal offence by wanting to obstruct justice, or influencing a witness. I could not believe my ears when I heard the mean and visious things she said to me. I wanted an apology for her meddling and saying I had obviously never read it, as what I claimed from reading it was not what she'd been TOLD 4 years before I read it.
She had herself, just a few hours before, mocked me for STILL TALKING about this paper. And now she all of a sudden said I was trying to influence a witness. No, I was trying to influence my MOTHER, the woman who is supposed to love me, the woman who gave birth to me, to admit that I am not a liar. But instead she treated me as a criminal and was yet more mean and visious to me, I totally understand why I was half traumatized every second of my upbringing. When I had changed the wordings in my list of apologies, so it could not be interpretated to be about future testimonies to some fictional court, she still would not sign it. Then she said I was doing a SECOND CRIME. Now all of a sudden I was extorting her, and trying to use our relationship in this crime as a bargaining chip. By telling her that I needed her to realize how these things hurt me, and that I needed her to apologize for them, or I could not have her in my life, she reacted as if I was holding her hostage for money. That is how crazy narcissists are. I told her that we could change whatever she felt was wrong with these things, and take out what she did not regret and did not want to apologize for. The end result being that she said that she would do ALL OF IT AGAIN, if she got a chance.
I wont post the draft of the list here, as I made a few ones with her, trying to make her a little bit interested in what she could acknowledge and try to mend. She did not want to mend anything, and she wanted total submission from me. She would not submit anything to me, and not agree to anything. She also, during this, made a third criminal accusation towards me, as she believed I was trying to trick her into admitting things, and that I was going to use that against her. Also that I said she could help me out to word the things so it felt not as if that was the case. But no interest what so ever from her side. And to tell you the truth, there were no mentioning of her defaming me or any other things that would come out as an admition of guilt. There was room for improvements, for a mother who did care enough. But when a mother has so little to ZERO interest in making the slightest effort to gain back the trust and relationship with a daughter, she just don't care enough. To me it was obvious she only wanted me back in the fold, and she only wanted things her way and her darlings way. She was constantly repeating their propaganda and lies, which I'm well aware of, as liars are very single minded. They often want something, and use deception instead of honesty to get it.
Written in June 2015: In my case I asked for being treated with the same respect my mother and golden brother treated my sister with. That is - they totally believed anything she said. When they refused to and instead choose to rather trust her EVEN after it turned out that another person (another brother) remembered the event and confirmed my version, not my sister's, I had no choice but to make them an ultimatume. That was in May 2013 and I told both mother and my brother that I could not keep them in my life if they could believe I'd make this up. And remember - their stance ment that that also claimed the other brother was helping me out, also lying. After this the golden brother has eagerly helped my sister to frame me and the brother who confirmed my version with all sorts of made up crimes.
Continued: She's also added a few new accusations, most likely all of what she'd done herself, as she once did admit to both me and the other brother a few of these doings. But last summer she denied ever doing them, and said we must had, and the golden brother agreed, though he was not even there. We can prove that we wasn't either, as we had left long before those things occured. I had even left far earlier, as I hardly had stayed atall. It's like our sister lured us to father's house after he'd died, just to frame us for all the shit she did there! And that despite me leaving after only a couple of hours. She managed to flatter her brother to stay far into the evening, but what she frames us for happened during the night and the days after, while she, our mother and the brother-in-law where all there by themselves. That's when mother is "confirming" all their stories, like a nice little follower.
That is the reason I want never nothing to do with her ever again, as she's been lying so much and lied to me straight out. She's lied about me and my family to others, as mother was the one phoning people telling tales about my mental illness and my abusive husband, to make us sound like wackoes. She filled her golden son in the US up with these tales and he seemed to believe them, or atleast decided it was in his interest to spread them, so he wrote this shit to the court and has been smearing us to "everyone" he claims. It seems like he's on a constant war path to make all their lies "legit" by smearing me as much as he possibly can. And to smear the brother who was actually there, and who knows 100% it's our sister who's the big, fat liar. She's the one holding all the cards, the one we know for sure knows that all she's said is pure rubbish and lies. She knows who is lying, and about what.
Continued: It's impossible for me to know who believes her shit and only help her out with new lies as they believe we "deserve it" and who knows she's full of crap and only helps out as they are greedy like her. It's impossible for me to know anything 100% about anyone else, as they were not there when the big con occured. Only me, a brother and this sister. Her husband had weirdly made a little tour to get some jumper, or something, and was out a damn long time to do that. He'd told me, before he left, that I was to be told something by my sister. It must had been something far more important then what they claimed afterwards, which was that she'd told me about a missing paper. I had not idea there was a paper, so why even bother mentioning it was missing? That does not make sense to me. However, the reality was that she showed me this paper, and THAT makes a hell of a more sense. I think she was to show it to me and beg me to be on her side in this, but she didn't do that, and I think that was what her husband wanted her to do. That or just what happened - start a hate campaign against me, making me out like a liar when I claimed I'd been shown this paper.
I do NOT KNOW the reason they showed the paper to me, but I have plenty of guesses. To make everyone hate me, is one of the guesses. To make me upset, sad, depressed, an outcast, and just generally torment me is my best guess really. That since my sister has been speaking about this event for 20 years, before she manifested it. I asked her back then "Who would be so nasty and bully you for getting that house for free?". Yes, who did she plan would do that? Me, of course. She showed the paper to me, as that paper proved she'd never gotten any freaking house. It proved that it was just a lie! So she had to show it to me, so I'd mention this fact, and so she could make everyone hate me for being such a mean bully, who would be so greedy and envious and attack my "poor little sister". What a devious tramp she is. This has made me certain that she's a sociopath. This has also made several other people certain she is a sociopath. People who are involved in this and know that I'm speaking the truth. Either cause they've seen the truth, like my brother, or cause they know me inside and out, like my husband and children.
Continued: Everyone who've heard the true story also understand she must be some kind of sociopath, as this is not a (real) human kind of behavior. It's evil. She's evil. She knows she's lying about me and she just keeps on doing it, while laughing behind everyones back. Yes, she's laughing when nobody is watching as she loves it. She loves the idea she's causeing pain and suffering to me. That is the true reason she did it - to cause me suffering. That is the true reason she killed that poor little kitty - aunt Brita's kitty - cause it would cause me suffering. It was never about the cat - but about making ME suffer! I was told this by a sister-in-law and I do believe her in this - she's right. My sister only did it to spite me. She also gave away my whole collection of handmade dolldresses only to spite me. I could not believe it and have made so many excuses through the years. She did it to make me suffer. Just like when the evil brother harmed the sensitive brother the same way. It was out of spite he ruined his most precious belonging.
That is the only REAL reason these demons do anything. They only do these things to harm us, not really to get more money as that is secondary. They rather loose it all, only to see us loose! That is why they do this. They want us to suffer, they want us poor, they want us ill, they want us lacking. They would however rather not suffer themselves in anyway while making us suffer, but they will LIE to us and others and claim they are suffering. That will most likely just be lies.
End of old piece.
I want to finish off with how mother kept saying that my sister had said it was not about the money, and therefore it was true. And the proof mother had was that our sister had left the house she rented from the death estated in May this year. But wait - she RENTED it from us! So she paid rent. And when she could not get her dirty hands on it for peanuts it was only COSTING her money. So mother's proof about it not being about the money, was proof it WAS about the money. If it's not been about the money sister would had STAYED in the house, in some hope she'd be able to get it. Instead she spun a sob story she could not live without the house, and as soon as we made an offer, and the stupid lawyer actually was forced to acknowledge this offer, instead of ignoring it, like he first did. As soon as she smelled money, she took the offer. Of course not without feigning victimhood and asking for alot of extras. So we gave her another 50 000 in offer, so to greately compensate her and the other brother, for all their wishes. She again agreed to this offer, and shortly after she moved out of the house. This did mother know nothing about. But after finding all out, she reverted back to saint Sister and her good deeds.
Another good deed is mother-in-law's house. The tale had been sprung for a very long time, that this house was so very precious to my sister's husband. For about a decade they sucked up to the old lady, helped her out ever so often, which resulted in me never getting any visits from my sister, as this had top priority. It was blatant from my sister's intel that this was not only about caring for an elderly, as she was at the beginning a very competent woman. No, my sister straight out told me it was about the house. It was so precious to her husband and he'd been promissed to get it, if he only did all this for his mother. Without blinking mother is now sitting there and telling me they SOLD this house and it surely must had happened very short time after it was signed over to them. The lawyer settling our estate told me ONE YEAR ago that this house was theirs, and therefore I should feel sorry for them, as they on top of a house by the sea, also needed this house in the forest. I want to puke. My pukes are coming up. Yes, mother sees NOTHING wrong with this. NOTHING. It's like she's been taken over by aliens. Where is her brain?
It's also like a CULT MEMBER would act. I call it the Cult of God, as her original name had "god" in it. She's a goddess to these people and she can do nothing wrong. Mother is turning her head around in circles to make up phony excuses for this bitch. They are just like BOTH my mother AND my father told me when they first met her husband. Mother never could stand the guy and after Operation Lead she was fumigating over him. That was now 6 years ago. Now he's just over-emotional, and there it all ends. She has no recollections of her ever saying anything bad about this prick of a son-in-law. Well, I could had told her already back in 2006 she was right in what she herself was fearing, and then telling me. But mother has been charmed by these con artists, as that is what such people do. Specially to elderly people. There were so many oddities in mother's sudden statements. Like when I was mentioning my granny, on father's side, and was going to say something about when I last time asked my aunt about her mother. Without any reason what so ever mother exclaimed that "there is no monopoly on names". What the fuck?
That is big time mind control, and that is exactly the same way the laywer behaved when he phoned me. First time he phoned me he repeated a mantra my sister first wrote in a very insulting mail to me, despite me being in my right not wanting to pay 15 000 MORE then we'd agreed on and she made an error. Still she trashed me as "cheap" and shortly after she had her husband phoning us and calling me "cheap" in exactly the same way as in that nasty mail. So her husband claimed I was cheap for questioning me having to pay 15 000 MORE then the price we'd agreed upon, and then it happened that the lawyer said exactly the same thing about this very issue. All so totally obviously under my sister's mind control. The second time the laywer phoned me with these kinds of made up allegations about me, was after he'd met my second brother, and yet again the lawyer repeated a mantra as if it was the truth. But this time it was a projection made by our brother, who claims my aim is to ruin us all by going to court endlessly if I don't get what I want. The truth is that the only one of all of us siblings who ever claimed a wish to do this is this brother himself.
What I was going to say about my granny and my aunt had NOTHING to do with the name, so it's obvious the words by mother was another meme telling others twisted reasons why I am mentioning things. Since mother brought it up I agreed there were no such laws, and that I had felt it was rude that my cousin had claimed she was the only one who could use that name in our family. Of course mother wasn't talking about my cousin, but was repeating a mantra by my sister. As if I was going to name a child to THAT if my sister called herself the same name. How weird would that not be? What these bastards don't see is that my sister had MET ME shortly before she took the name, and she said not one word to me about it. She was my brides maid and she never mentioned her plans to me. If you are just about to change your first name, don't you think you've given it more consideration then just a few hours? Yes, indeed. And as that was one name I was thinking about giving MY CHILD it is obvious to me my sister tried to beat me to it, as she knew I would skip that name as soon as she had it. But I also agree with my aunt, though I refrained from telling mother this part, that my sister's main reason to take this name was to get more into a favorable position with father. But also with others in the family, as that name had so much positive energy for so many. It was a self promoting stunt, and she wanted the name before anyone else got around to it.
So mother's excuse for all this treacherous and slimy behavior is that it's not a crime! No, it's not a crime, but that does not make it less rude and inconsiderate. If my sister had been a good sister she'd told me her plans and I would not had been crossed with her. I had other names I liked and I much more would had wanted honesty, then deception and lies. Lying by omission, yet again. If you are always playing others as if this was a great game of chess, you might think all these scams and cons are normal. To me they are not, and I did tell mother that I cannot live with people who work this way. It is too traumatic for me to always have to second guess anything they say, as they constantly are using lies in all of their communications. The only good thing about it is that I have had to learn to listen less with my ears and more with my gut. So I know my sister and her husband were never interested in either one of their houses, and that all they wanted was to sell them, get the MONEY to do something for them. It turned out they wanted to buy a new property. By that proving I was right all along, and everyone who've believed my sister's sob stories were bafoons believing a con artist. She and her husband had these plans all the time, and I bet they even planned this back when they tricked the mother-in-law into signing her house over to them. Who knows exactly, but I would never ever believe any excuses their "true believers" make up.
All these selling and buying and then renovating is totally normal to mother. She sees never ever anything weird or wrong or perculiar or negative in what this angel ever does. So there is no problem with them buying this business and doing all of this. She has total confidence in their ability to buy and do things. Then she turns around and totally belittles us. If you would take the educations us FOUR people have and compair it to these two others you'd get a first inclination that something is seriously wrong with mother's believes. We all individually have more education then both of them put together. The second thing is that we are four grown up people, and we have several grown up children interested in country living. We have not failed ever paying off what we own to banks or anything, so to get us in records for those with such problems. We've just not had much money to have fun with, as we've paid our debts. Yes, we've had tough times, but we are honest and good people. We already own half the death estate. So now are you starting to get where I am going with this picture? Yes, mother did not believe we could buy the other half, cause we just did not have the money. She has no understanding how this works and it was clear to us that this tale of our inability to buy the property was also promoted by our aunt. It was not true. The question is if we WANT to buy it - not if we can.
I mentioned to mother a place nearby that had an asking price of 1.9 million and she thought that was giving it away. Which proved to me my sister's place was way more expensive, and also, this place here already had been fixed up and had a restaurant and even a spa. It was an amazing place and had atleast double the number of bedrooms then the place they'd bought. So it was now obvious to me that my mother finds it totally normal that my perfect sister can buy a place far more expensive then this, which may be like double atleast, so say 3.8 millions just for fun. She and her husband sold a house to sponsor this new place. Lets say they got half it's worth from the sold property. They'd still have to borrow money and they still had loans on another property they are trying to sell. In my made up calculation lets say they now have loans reaching to 4.5 millions. Mother thinks that is alright, but she cannot phanthom that we could borrow less then 900 000 for each family, to buy a business of our own. It is all in all only 1.8 million, and she just told me that was nothing. Can you figure all this out, without sharing my opinion that she looks upon us as we were morons, you are welcome. Well, thanks for reading this, if anyone did!
Ingis Erlingsdotter - Magnolia Lane