This was my Christmas Special video for Magnolia Lane.
Sorry I've not posted much here lately, so I forgot to post this one too. I feel a bit uncomfortable posting anything, as I am afraid those defaming me and lying about me will get this and use it, like they've used everything else, turned backwards. Which is what abusers and bullies do - they will ridicule you for feeling bad due to the abuse they inflicted on you, and then use whatever reaction you will have due to how others treat you horribly or just plain weird. Bullies will use their own deeds as smear on you, and make it out as if you did their actions. Then they will shame you to as many as possible, and hence the weird reactions from others. You will find yourself cut out of wills and being spoken to in harsh and cruel ways. As others see this treatment, who don't know you, they will pick it up and also be abusive towards you, as humans are social beings who conform.
As the rude behavior don't fit in with who you really are, or your own actions in life, you will feel highly insulted, which to bystanders will come out as if you wont own up to your deeds. You might even feel extremely angry on some people, as you've helped them out many times and maybe even spent alot of money on them, for no other reason then you loving them. And instead they lie about you, cut you out of wills and believe anything vile they hear about you. So that is why it feels really ackward to post on the blogs, as I know only that they've found some of them, but how many I'm not sure about. Which means that they have been stalking me, to find dirt to use against me. Since what I would say now is so very different from the lies they've been spreading for so many years, anything I write might be used as fuel to prove what an evil person I am. Unfortunately for them I've decided not to fight them, as I realize that anyone who believe them never loved me back and is good riddance.
One has to think that way when some are set to destroy your reputation and smear you with their own vile deeds, specially as I've found out they've done this atleast since I was a teenager, maybe even longer, though it got escalated as I got very ill, shortly after father had his heart attack. I'd been poorly 2-3 years before that, but it got much worse after my miscarriage in 2005. As my health slowly detoriated they could use that to smear me, and after my hospitalization and almost dying they could use that even more, as I then realized it was time I cared for myself, or I'd be dead soon. Did they care? Of course not. Instead my main abuser used it to anger relatives, while she made me think she was going to take on the responsibility for father. Instead I realize she's shamed me, behind my back, as lazy and she's had atleast a brother and most likely her husband to help her out with this.
It's clear to me that none of them have any shame for how they treated me and that they only felt I was disgusting for being so ill. Who behaves that way? Well, cult members do. And funtamentalists. Anyone brainwashed to hate someone does this. All the while they act as the injured party, and behave indignated or even worried, while keeping up the lying and framing. When you are portraiting other people in ways that are either hiding vital facts in their lives, or straight out making up things that are not true, you are a bloodly liar. But as such abusers play act so well that they are the innocent, caring relative most people wont believe they are capable of such deception. Believe me - they are. And I'm done with that such of scum baggery. To thrive in life emotionally we need to cut out all the people who want to keep us unhappy and in a constant state of worry and unhappiness.
Who these people are you will easy enough pick up, if you have atleast a few loyal friends and relatives, who will pass on their lies to you. If you don't have any loyal friends or relatives they will neglect telling you about what is going on behind your back. Then it's far more harder to find out, and all you can go on is what actually occures in personal interactions with the bullies. If something odd happens, like when I had told my brother-in-law about my health problems, and he behaved so weird and even asked my sister if she knew about it, which she of course did, but instead of admitting that she lied and told him "NO", and if this kind of thing happen you for sure can know something is not right. Last fall I was told by our mother that my sister had lied like that cause she indeed never been told I was so ill, which means that from what mother knew my sister hadn't been told, which means that my mother LIED to me when she told me she had told her. You see how crazy it gets?
Well, in that instance my sister had phoned home and spoken to my daughter, so I knew she knew, and my daughter had told her that I was hospitalized and they don't do that if you only have a little anemia, which is the story they seem to have pulled on my relatives. I tried to put them straight, but I can see that as soon as I turn away the liars are there re-affirming their smear and lies. Also mother informed me that it was indeed alright for any of them to smear me and lie about me to people. She felt there was nothing wrong with doing that, and told me she has not been so happy for ages, as she's been these last years when they've been harassing me with lies and defamed me to everyone they know I know. She would gladly treat me this horrible again, as she felt it was her right to meddle in my affairs, she has no legal business to meddle with, and do all of this all over again. She showed no regrets, had no remorse for the agony and pain she's cause me and others. None.
So by that confirming assessments I've had from many people through the years, that my mother indeed is a psychopath. She just does not understand she is, as in her world everyone else is the abuser and mean to her. She told me to get over being not believed, lied about and threatened by angry men, while it's still ongoing. Shortly after she whined to me over old issues for not being believed, lied about and threatened by angry men. Even if I'd pointed this behavior out to her earlier on, she repeated it without a second thought. I guess as my words don't matter and neither do my feelings or experinces, only hers. Which is psychopathy in a nutshell. If you add that with her constant re-arranging of reality to manipulate you into believeing she ment you well, while that is not true, you see the maliciousness and lying too, which are so typical for psychopaths. So do I regret going not contact with these abusers three years ago? Hell no!
Ingis Erlingsdotter - Magnolia Lane