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fredag 18 september 2015

Cry Baby Cry

This is a comment to this video, about his terrible mother and how she raged and did bad things to him when he was a child, and needed love and compassion, as we all do need. What I hear is a mother who's very unstable and who rage towards her child when she thinks noone will notice. That is what narcissists will do, when they are childabusers. They will cover it up and do it when noone sees it. But all narcissists don't rage like this as alot of them are of cooler manner and normally get things the way they want it, and therefore don't feel the need to. A narcissistic mother who's forced to be a mother, when she rather do other things, is more likely to rage, in my opinion. Also, if her children in any way will keep rebelling that might also create more rage. Children who immediately go into a calming down mode might see less rage, but remember - there was nothing you could do to not be hurt, if you had a narcissistic mother. Even good mothers, or semi good mothers sometimes will not be perfect and they will loose it with a difficult child in some way. The question is how they loose it. This man's mother most certainly did not loose it in a good way, but in a crazy bitch way.

How does it feel for a little child when you are met with harsh words and pain?

Here is the comment: That is just horrible. I wonder however about the ritual spanking on bare butts for no given reason. The coldness of it, the lack of emotion, the humiliation. Where it did not matter how you behaved, as the spanking would come. Ordered by mother to be executed by father as he arrived back from his job. I've spoken to both of them when I had become a parent, and asked about their childhood, never ever bringing up this spanking issue, as that was not spoken about, ever. And neither had in any way, shape or form been subjects to any physical punishment as the one they put two out of their three children (first litter) through. The forth child came in the 70's. Spanking got illegal in 73 here. 

Mother had a saying that you have to learn a child to know shame. (The exact saying goes differently as it's a rough translation - but it's about it.) Those children who knew shame were us scapegoats, of course, and I suspect she had father spank us for two reasons. One to make the bond between us and father broken, and two as a method to break our spirits, as we could NOT affect the spanking. I am thinking about the coldness you felt about the punishment, despite it being very hurtful, and that makes me remember how I locked down all feelings when my butt was smacked red and sore. I could not change the outcome, as I was a little child. And I believe truly it was to make us obediant slaves for her choosen boy, and then later on her choosen girl. She did tell me I was nothing like the new baby. I was dirty and whathaveyou nasty words she said, as she had lost her normal calm as I'd touched the new baby's cloths. And she said that the new baby was clean and all sorts of glorious things. 

Whatever happened in your childhood never happened. Repeat!

I've rarely seen mother in rage, one time was on our trip to the so called ballet class, which was another con. There were no ballet class and all way home mother raged at me how ungrateful I was, and how she'd never do anything more for me - ever. Like I said, the class was a con, she made it up as I was a child of 5 and she thought I'd not notice the difference. Then there was one occasion when I was 13 and I dared to oppose her about how dark it was outside, so she hunted me all through the house and outside. Then I remember her raging during the inheretence after her mother - when all hell broke loose thanks to her, pretty much as is going on with her children. The latest rage was in 2005 when she found out dad had remarried. 

That's when his new wife was accused of stealing a heirloom. I remember commenting to mother she (the new wife) must be stupid, as it was worthless. Then the object was back again. I now am pretty sure mother stole it and carefully pinned the blame on the other woman. Still on dad's funeral golden boy blames her. It might also been our sister who did it, cause she wont speak to the woman and behaves really suspicious around her. Who knows, I'm just sure that is she'd steal anything she'd go for easy and small objects as all the gold rings father had laying around.

Ingis Erlingsdotter - Magnolia Lane

An adult playing the victim is nothing as cute as this baby is.