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måndag 19 januari 2015

Anniversary Greetings From My Family

This will be a blog about my beloved family and how much they care about me and support me. Honestly it will, I am not taking the mickie of you or trying to be smart or anything. Well, actually I am. I was in too much of a shock when my family attacked me, after I had dared to oppose my golden sister and stood up for myself and for truth, so I didn't until long after actually think more on the details of what they did to me. One thing that came to me then was that the hateful mails all of them sent to me were sent as an anniversary greeting to me and my husband since then 24 years. He almost lost me a couple of years earlier and atleast he was glad I was recovered and not ill anymore. I feel very lucky that I got so very ill, so close to death, in such a very poor condition, as that woke me up to the reality all who'd warned me about my families lack of love and care for me all these years been speaking the truth. In a loving family people tell each other that someone is pregnant or very ill or anything else of importance, that gives the family members opportunities to contact and show support and appreciation. But in my family the opposite is true. I have had so many odd greetings and accusations from relatives and their partners, which many have bugged me for years. Either that person is mental, and severely lacking compassion and social skills, or they'd heard lies and smears about me. Thinking back on what some of these people said about others in my family - behind their backs - makes me see that they must have said equally or even worse things about me.
I think now I must be one of the most naive people out there, but today I found out that is a typical trait of creative people so I shouldn't be surprised. I think you need to be innocent as a child to recieve the creativity gifts from the source and that is why psychopaths, real psychopaths, never are creative at all. Whenever we think we have found a creative psychopath it always turns out he or she has stolen his work from someone else, whom either died mysteriously or were paid off or silenced in some fashion. So, I am actually grateful for being naive, as I would never like to loose that connection as that is the connection to real bliss and true love. That is a very different kind of love then the one demanding us to forgive and forget our abusers, whom never regret how they have damaged their relationship with us. And it's very different to the "in love" love that people seem to think is love, as they fall in and out of love and can't find any real love that lasts. It's cause they are in love with themselves every single time. I know that as I've done it a few times in my life, thinking "falling in love" has anything to do with real love, while it's only a projection of my own hopes and dreams unto someone else. Love is to love a person like he is, with warts and all, as the saying goes. So when envious people, who hates to see you in a realtionship, tries to ruin your feelings for your partner they will think to attack the persons attractivness by pointing finger at all those "warts". If you truly love that person you will already know these percieved faults and it will not bother you. If you only use this person as a reflexion of your own grandiousity you will be very insulted. That is how you know if it's true love or not.
I wrote the above a couple of months ago or so, but now I will try and finish this blog. The circus in my family is circling around father and his hard work, which some feel are theirs to have. The first one who truly robbed dad was our mother, which she did in the divorce. Just like her golden son would not be open and honest about her assets she managed to get more from him then she ought to have. And just like her favorite daughter used estate evaluations to help her in her quest, mother did the same and over valued fathers farm so much that he almost was not possible to keep the farm. Which was mothers goal as she hated the place. The farm was run by fathers mother Jannike when she was alive and until she fell ill and died. She died at my age, and left four children, who were about the same age as all of mine are now. She had two boys and two girls, just like me, and like I said she took care of the farm, the live stock and grew vegetables and stuff. Dad loved his mother alot and when he was on his death bed, his last evening, I told him he'd soon meet his mother and she and him would be together again. That made him calm and he fell asleep in peace. His mother has kept an eye on him and his family and the terrible thing is that our mother so obviously disliked her aswell, while she never met her, but as dad cared so much for her, just like the farm, that is reason enough. And whenever mother was cruel to me my grandmother used to comfort me. That is something I was sure of as a small child, as I felt her warm arms around me, when I sat in her lap and she embraced me and told me how much she loved me and what a sweet child I was.
Luckily father managed that time to pay mother off so he could keep the farm. This all occured the same year as I and the oldest brother had our first born children. We had both bought houses just before mother started to try and force dad to give her half of his hard worked money. You have to understand that mother never paid for their house, all bills dad paid, all food and also he did almost all housework. The tiny things mother did was ridiculous. Mostly she was just complaining and nagging on dad and hence making things more hard. So when she wanted half of everything, I mean what I said that she wanted half of dad's stuff, as she tried her damndest to hide all her stuff. She also had not paid for her living all their marriage, but he had paid for her living. In reality he paid her twice, first during all their marriage, where he had to take care of all children too, and be the housewife, while she was complaining and enjoying herself and freeloading. She could keep her salary and she also got all the child support money the state hands out. That she saved alot of and used to buy expencive furs and stuff to herself with, while I remember me not having proper cloths for school and being teased. So she feels entitled and she did her best to make sure dad had to pay her money again and again, while she was lazy and he was working hard. That is the truth, but in her story she's the innocent victim and he's the brute who would not share everything with her. All lies.
With that background you can also appreciate how devious it was of her to file for this divorce shortly after us two children just had bought houses. She always been bullying and making out that we're less then her golden son (and later favorite daughter) and made sure dad punished us for stuff we were innocent of. I was very pregnant at that time and had a child shortly after she filed the papers. During that year also the cousin was born and at the beginning of the next year the divorce were done and dad had to pay her loads of money. That was in 1992 and also the year the house market crashed and our living costs sky rocketed. Both of us had really needed economic help that year, but thanks to our mother father could not help us out and ever since then my family and all my children have been living in poverty. We never could afford any vacations or renovate our home and had to get in debt just to eat. All this had could been avoided if we'd recieved help that year before the banks drained our economy dry with their ridiculous interest rates. All help dad has given us a few years later would had been needed this year to save us enormous amounts of money, but this was not possible as mother had all his money at this time and she refused to help us two, as she always done her best to put up obstacles to confirm her own predjudices. At the same time she however helped her favorites in ways I later on have figured out. How much I don't know though, but that she lavished them easily with money is very clear. I think she mostly spoiled her golden boy. This spoiling and special treatment of course has made him, and also the youngest sister, never questioning their special entitlement. 
All of this is the background to what then transpired and got to be our sweet aniversary gifts from these people. In short dad had during this divorce somehow let our sister have a house on the farm for free to use as a summer house, and she ever since then claimed he'd given it to her. Which was all lies as it was his and that was their deal it would be until he died. She used this house by renting it out to summer guests and that dad opposed. She tried to make him sign a proper WILL to her in 1996, but instead he made another kind of written agreement with her, which is not legally binding. If she'd choosen to have used this paper it would be up to us siblings if we'd agree or not what that paper said, as it was NOT a will. But instead she choosed to hide this agreement, after she had made sure I had read it and understood what it said. It did NOT say the same things the will had said, which dad refused to sign. So then when the estate was to be shifted out she lied and said this paper were lost for many years. She lied and said she never had showed it to me, and she would not stop lying even after the oldest brother remembered he'd seen me read it from her hands. Then she tried to force us to give us her house the way the unsigned WILL had said and claimed that the now vanished agreement had said what this will said. The will was found in December 2014 by a fluke when we were looking for something else in dad's house. With it was our golden brothers rent agreement, which was odd as he had said several times he had the same written agreement as this sister did. But this rent agreement was nothing like the same.
Our sister kept these lies up and refused to admit that she had shown this agreement to me, which she now knew the oldest brother remembered also, and made ridiculous claims to explain us away. Then she demanded we'd stop asking to be shown the paper to prove I was remembering it wrongly. She said that our mother was going to testify that she was right about it's content and that mother herself had offered to write a written testimony where she agreed with my sister that she was telling the truth and that I was a liar. She kept up telling this, that mother was siding with my sister against me and what I so clearly remembered I had read. I could not believe that I'd gotten it so wrong, like my sister claimed, as first she would not even admit she had showed it to me and that lie gave it all away that I had not gotten it wrong. Then she also said that if I had read it it must had been at another time, and then she implied that the paper was missing ever since then. That was so nasty of her, as she knows full well I never found it and read it by myself, and even if that story had been true it didn't explain why she refused to show it and prove I was wrong in how I understood it. It's like everyone says, that you don't loose such an important paper, as she claims she's done. She has her own copy of that paper, and she got dad's copy, which it appears is the one she had found and shown me. In the end of this discussion both her and the brother, whom we now know has also lied to us about his agreement, tried to force us to sign over these properties on them without getting to read their agreements.
Against our normal selves both me and my oldest brother decided to stick up for truth and what is right, and also for ourselves. So we refused to agree to shut the fuck up, as they ordered us to do, or to let them have their ideas of entitlement reinforced. So we asked the court to appoint an independant person do settle this, but that never happened. First they went against our stated demand, to get an independant one, and followed the will of our sister. Then again I specified more exactly which law firms we did not want, as she had asked for one of them, and the court again ignored my request and appointed a lawyer on one of these firms. So I had to go higher up and they overruled and the errend went back and suddenly a new lawyer was appointed. But he was just like the first one someone our sister had asked to take it. She just managed to stick to the plan, which she foolishly had revealled to the higher court so I have it in her own words, that her plan was to NOT let us know that she was behind the appointment of the first lawyer. But that time she didn't understand all her mails and phone calls to the court got registered, so instead she this time let the lawyer himself contact someone at the court and they appointed him. I cannot prove this, of course, but I know things that I just know, and I've tested him twice to confirm this intel and his reactions spoke loudly to me. Also our sister and mother had been at dad's farm the holiday before and our aunt had mentioned this lawyer to them, so do the math when shortly afterwards he's apppointed!
This has led to the lawyer being extremly in the favor of our sister's all wants and needs. He's totally smithen with her and the way he speaks about her is truly sickening to us, knowing what a cow she's been. He obviously didn't care one bit to speak to specially me, whom I'm sure she's smeared the worst, and then he refused to ever see me, while he immediately had a real life meeting with her. His excuse was the taxes, but it was my husband who's done all the taxes and she's done nothing at all, but asking him to fix stuff so we'd have to pay as little as possible. I mean, how hard is that to SAY? Then she put her little name under it all, and now she's the big hero. Guess it's very hard for her, just like it was very hard for mother to live for free with dad all those years. These people are truly nasty and entitled. There is no other better word for it, as they act like they've travelled to the moon, when they've walked over the street, and belittles others work as insignificant, worthless afterwards when all the proof is gone. Many times they'll flatter you and con you into doing all the work and might actually be really nice just after, but that is directly to you or a small circle or so others see how nice they are. Then they might exaggerate how fantastic your work has been, while the thing they bring forward are not that special. I believe it's to make out that you cannot do any better, or something. I haven't really figured that out, as they can ignore really big jobs totally as if they never happened. Both my choosen siblings act like I and the oldest brother are not doing anything, and never really have done anything. It's some kind of mind game they pull of ignoring reality to belittle us.
All this was like being bullied once again, and now by the lawyer. His behavior made the conflict very much worse and he constantly refused to admit to what is true. We've talked to another firm, and a lawyer specializing in these kinds of errands and he said what we knew was true, and which our appointed lawyer lied about. Really sad. First lie was that there was only a real oral agreement and that this was legal and had to be followed. Second lie was that the agreement I talked about was of no concern as it was written it was of more concern then his made up oral one. If we'd been shown it we could had agreed upon it, but this lawyer wanted to force us to agree to this same agreement, that I'd read, but without us getting to read it. He did that by making up it was some fantasy orally one. Totally bullshit. The third lie he told us was that me and the oldest brother had less claim to dad's farm then the others. There are no such unequalities in the law and he lied to us, belittled us and that was the bullying. The re-harming us after all the abuse our mother and her pet kids been doing to us our whole lives. That is not a minor thing of an appointed independant lawyer to make, as he treated us as shit. He totally ignored all our reuqests of being treated equally and that we didn't want any part of the farm if he let our siblings take over the whole farm and buy us out, or if they got only half, either way we did NOT want any part. Most of all we wanted to know if we could buy it. All of this he ignored and instead he let our siblings have the big part with all the houses and farmland, while he knew we wanted the farmland, and we got a small piece of shitty forest without any house. I repeat, he knew full well that we did NOT want that piece of shit and still he wanted to settle it like this. Asshole.
What he didn't want to talk about atall was how we came to ask for help. In his mind the angel was our sister and I was the devil, the liar. After my oldest brother had told him to talk to me he finally did, more then a month AFTER he had already MET my sister. He then told me, knowingly or not, that he found her the trustworthy of us three, and he'd had to comfort her that it didn't matter that she was the "trustworthy" as us two was claiming something else. At the same time he told me he never heard about the written agreement, so that gave me cognitive dissonance, as the brother had told him all about it already. Then he swiftly dismissed it and moved on to talk about other issues. He repeated almost word by word projections our sister and her husband been putting on me, which are highly unfair. I didn't want to pay 40 K for a car worth 10 K, so I refused to pay any more then we first agreed upon, which was less then 25 K, so I agreed to max pay 25 K. And they projected that I was CHEAP and arguing over small amounts. So when I refuses to pay 30 K more then something was worth and only agreed to pay 15 K more, I was cheap. That is utter hateful and nasty and the lawyer also said exactly the same thing to me! How rude. He both told me I was not trustworthy and that I was cheap. Such an utter asshole. He had no desire to find out how our siblings had been trying to con us and refused to show us their agreements and just kept on bullying us to sign over the houses on them. That is as NOT neutral as you can get, as my demand at that time was that she'd take out the agreement and admit she'd shown it to me, just like I'd said all this time.
If she'd done that and apologiezed for all her lies and her husbands threats towards me and her misleading both our golden brother and mother to lie to cover up for her. I'm totally convinced now that they both know the truth and that I'm telling the truth and she's lying, so all their denying now is just further re-victimization of me. It's all bullying and very hateful. So if the lawyer had told her this, that she needed to show us the damn paper to get the house at all, he'd been neutral. He should had asked what I wanted, but he refused to care. He should had figured out that I wanted to prove that I had right about this agreement and that I wanted her to take back all the defamation she's been doing about me. As it is now this lawyer has helped in commiting the crime of libel, as his actions was directed at helping her cover up the truth without it costing her anything. He knows this very well and he is so sickly content with his abuse of me. He sickens me as he doesn't know me at all and has agreed to do this to me. When I read his proposal to fix the farm the way our bullying siblings wanted I felt such an anger, such a deep rage I cannot remember having since I curse the bloody farmer to death as a child. He died within three years in the way I'd said. The reason of my rage is cause I've had a very bad nightmare when in recovery from my lethal illness, where strangers pushed me off dad's farm and he didn't do a thing to help me. The lawyers behavior mimicked these strangers.
Like I said at the beginning the final insult happened on our 24th anniversary, when I'd sent out a final plead privately to my sister to tell the truth. I sent her a recording of how I remembered the event with an oath and I challenged her to take the same oath and then say I'm lying. I also warned her to not take this oath and lie as that would with certainty bring her great misfortune. Despite this being a private mail to her, she did what nasty malignant people always do - she sent it out to alot of others, making it out that I'd been harassing her a long time. She totally insinuated that I'd sent horrible mails a long time, while the truth was that this was the only private mail to her about this. I'd sent all the others to all siblings making them all aware that I would not change my mind on seeing the agreement again before signing over anything. So she overreacted and spread foul lies and defamed my mental health and all sorts of typical bullying stuff. She made herself out as the victim, of course, and pretended she felt just like she must had imagined I felt at that time after all her lying and projections. Shortly after her self pity mail, filled with hateful projections against me, where she pretended to be very worried for my mental health, but also fed up with my evil actions towards her - all lies - her husband sent me a horrible mail projecting over all his wifes action on me. She's the one harassing me, she's the abuser.
Of course also our golden brother sent an awful mail to me, totally siding with the lying bitch. He ordered me to take down my oath from the net, most likely cause it was evidence that proved that what I'd read was totally against his and hers claims about the agreement, and it also stated that our oldest brother could confirm that I'd indeed read the agreement. So of course he wanted it off the web. He had no interest of getting this agreement out in the air as it would show that dad made WRITTEN agreements, and not oral like he claims, and it would also prove that dad did not give away any houses to anyone, like they both always have said. No, he was very firm that the house was to be had at market price. So here the false real estate guy comes in. Our sister also all this time has been trying to con us the house market has been stagnent since the early 90's. Also the golden brother has claimed this absurdity. So they both wanted us to believe in fairytales - that a house worth 100 K then, 20 years later is still only worth 100 K. Not even dad agreed to that back in 1996, as he'd changed the price on the house our sister had put in the will she wanted him to sign for her. He'd changed it from 110 K to 210 K in his own handwriting. So of course they didn't want this testimony on the net, if others would hear it. So of course my sister sent that lying mail to make sure people would not hearing me out, when listening to it. It was damaged control, as I'd not sent it to all these people she wanted to tell her version first. The one were I am the demented lunatic.
Already six days before this had I sent out a mail to both my golden brother and mother that I wanted nothing more to do with them again as they believed her lies that I was making up that I'd read this paper. So the brothers reaction was proof that he first off didn't care that he knew that I was telling the truth, and second that he didn't respect my wish to have no further contact with me as he's not supporting me or the truth. This occured on our anniversary the 27th May 2013, but a few days later was my birthday and to be funny this brother sent a birthday greeting on the very same mail he'd recieved from his other sister, where she was defaming me, and with her husbands horrible accusations against me and his threats to report me to the police and my short respons to that, which was in no way or form near their abusive attitude, but thanking them for their input and also confirmning that it's indeed illegal to defame people, and mentioning that includes claming others mentally ill, which my sister obviously had done. On top of THAT mail he sent his bloody birthday greeting, like some kind of attempt to re-traumatize me on my birthday. How sick. Luckily I stopped reading his mails after the 21st May as he was so nasty and hateful towards me for at that time unknown reasons. He did however also get the second mail from this brother-in-law where he promissed they'd already filed a report to the police due to my insubordination. A couple of days later I also found a greeting from my golden brothers wife, which I unfortunately replied to, without realizeing she's gotten all these hate mails about me.
Mother had also written a mail on my birthday and done that above this golden boys birthday greeting to me. She said nothing about my birthday, but claimed more or less that I was a liar and that of course makes also the oldest son a liar. She totally dismissed my testimony, obviously, and claimed that dad most likely had by mistake thrown away the paper I talked about in the recording. A paper I testified I'd been shown AFTER dad was dead, but I guess that makes sense in crazy town. She was so rude and that after all the hostility I'd been attacked by ever since I started to talk about reading this agreement one and a half month ago. It was highly insensitive and she already had revieved my mail that I wanted nothing to do with neither her or the golden brother as they thought I was a liar. Still she called me a liar on my birthday. Bitch. My husband told her how nasty she was to me, siding with those trying to defame me and brake me down. He totally told her off how she takes their sides, always, even if she is shown proof they are wrong. He wrote to her my greeting from 21st May, that we wanted nothing to do with her from now on due to this, and also reminded her how kind I've always been to her, and this is her thanks. Bitch. This mail she then uses to defame my husband to EVERYONE, or atleast as many as she could. Of course she didn't give them the mail, only remade it's content, by only focusing on one part, the part saying we wanted nothing more to do with her. All else she ignored. She remade this part into some huge threat he'd done to all of our and my oldest brothers family, where she claimed he FORBIDDEN everyone to speak to her and the rest of the bullies. That's how insane such people are.
Instead of listening and respecting you they try to bully you and defame you into submission. They have serious double standards. Outwardly they claim that all they want is to speak to us, but they tell us to shut the fuck up and obey. They pretend they really want to communicate and solve our problem, but ignores anything we have to say and make everyone also dismiss whatever we say as mean and lies. So how can there be any communications with such bullies? There can't. At this point I feel very connected to my oldest brother and also to my cousins on dad's side, whom I met on uncle's funeral. It was a lovely and simple service, and I wish dad's been that way too. I loved it and I felt so much care and love for all of them. What his oldest son told about their family's standard on honor and truth hit a core in my heart. I wish I'd been adopted by this uncle and his wife and I'd had two lovely baby brothers to play with. I'd loved that as I always loved to play with boys, and then most of all younger boys who didn't treat me like a mindless doll, like my golden brother always has. This funeral was now in December 2014, but before that the lawyer had showed his true face to us and I was feeling really upset over how he tried to take my roots from me and my real brother. It was very important to both of us to get the feeling back that we did matter and that we did have a right to be with this family and our relatives. We both love them alot, but all this hate and smear is hard to bare. The feeling that they've heard horrible things about you is always there, but my hope is that this honor and trust in truth will lead them to NOT listen to smear.
Last summer my oldest brother found out what kind of smear it might be as he tried to one final time plead to our brother to come to his senses. He told him one thing we'd been thinking he gotten wrong, as our sisters mails were very obscure around this. So he told him straight out that him and I had left dad's home the same day we got there, while our sister had spent the weekend going through stuff. The golden brother immediately responded by smearing me about lying in my testimony and said four times he could prove it, but not once HOW. So the oldest brother then yet again repeated that he indeed had seen me read the paper, so I was not lying, but telling the truth. To this the other brother said weird stuff that made no sense and the oldest brother realized there was nothing more to tell him, as he rather believed I lied then the truth. Most likely cause he hates me, and why he does that I don't know, but it explains alot of his abuse through the years that's bothered me and hurt me. Then suddenly our sister sent a mail to them, though she was not openly included in the conversation. She straight out lied that both me and the oldest brother had spent the weekend in dad's home, and not left until her husband and our mother did, which I believe was on Sunday. So according to her we first went home, the oldest brother quite far, and then back to the farm the same day? But we both can prove we came home on Friday, and I very early that day. 
Ever since April 2012 have I mother's dog here, so I had to go home. And at that time all four children went to school and our grandchild was at day care. I had so many to pick up and loads of stuff to do. I also had a cat that had kitties on Saturday. All this she knows full well and the kitties I've written mails about. My computer is full of proof of me uploading the golden brother's son's birthday page to the net, and me starting a memorial page for dad, and me putting the next months PSP-lessons together. So much work on my computer at home that weekend, but liars don't care for proof. They just lie and make up made up "proof". In her mail we also found out what smear she's made up to make people believe there is proof in my recording of me never reading the paper. The proof is ridiculous and it's also a lie. She claims her paper was made 1992, which is a lie, and that I say the name she got in 1994, so according to her that is proof I never read the paper. Is it? As the paper was signed 1996 that is utter nonsens. So there you have the bloody proof the golden brother was on about. You really should THINK before you judge people, or you come out as yet another liar. To me he's another liar as he's recieved all this info and still repeats her insane lies like gospel. Both of them reveal that they are willing liars in these mails, as they both claim to have proof I never read the paper, and at the same time they accuse me of stealing this paper. Only a really dumb liar would claim such contradicting insanities.
Also these accusations the lawyer is aware of, and that I can prove that we were not in dad's house this weekend, but his firm trust in our sister cannot budge. Just like our golden brothers and our mothers. He's just the same, another bully having fun harming and hurting good, honest people. Asshole. It's like he enjoys to see the pain such lies cause it's victim and that he admires the cheakyness of our sister, who can lie and make out herself as better then me, more entitled. So he even straight out told me that she "needed" one more summer house, as she "only" had one now. How can an independant lawyer even say such a stupid thing? Our golden brothers family also has a wonderful summer house by the ocean already, so my guess is that they also need two summer houses. My sister and this brother they have one child each and they need TWO summer houses? Really? And I and the oldest brother we have four and three children, which is a total of SEVEN children, and we need NONE? Apparently. We have several children interested in having a farm and country living, them two have none, still this fuck tard of lawyer claimed they had more reasons to get the farm then we did. The real reason is that our sister has made a deal with the disgusting real estate agent so he'd got alot of provision if he could help the lawyer to con us into accepting their sick old scheme. Same shit as before we went to court, more or less.
All this time I've said to the lawyer that I only know what dad wanted from the paper I read about the house our sister wants. I've told him I don't know what he wanted for the building our golden brother wants, more then hearsay. I've said to him that mother has told me dad thought that building belonged to the farm, and that our mother was very upset over that as she didn't agree on that, but it's dad's farm and not hers, so it was none of her business. I've said that our brother says he's paid for the house and helped out to build it, but that I only got from him and not from dad. I've also said that I'm not really interested in that building as it's not a real house like the other one, which I know for a fact that dad rebuilt and totally finished when our sister took over it and used it as her own for free. I made this very clear to him that all I can fall back on is what I know, and I've never read or seen, at that time, anything about that outhouse our brother wants. Now I know he's been telling lies as all he had was a rent contract and nothing like our sister had. But then I didn't know that as we found this rent agreement in December 2014. I'm making this really clear here as apparently of some reason this brother sends me and our two siblings the most disgusting hate mail ever on the 21st October last year, not long before the lawyer is to meet us and try to convince us to accept the solutions our bullying siblings been trying to force upon us since Spring 2013. In the hate mail he first shows a link to another blog I have and then claims what I write there is crazy, which it is not as it's about the same kind of lies and deceptions I've mentioned in this blog and a few others.
The weird thing is that he's not written anything or been on any of my internet homes harassing me for ages, not that I've noticed anyhow, and then this flash attack out of nowhere. Only four days before I'd had a call from mother where I told her exactly how I felt about her betrayal and how she's sided against me and my children. Now I realize that she's done that all my life, and that she's tried to ruin my economy ever since I married and had children. There is plenty of proof on that and the divorce is only one part of it. She's even stolen securities dad's given to me and kept them till they lost their value. She knew we were in dire need of them straight away and still she did this to us. What a horried bitch. Thinking back it's unbelievable how much crap I've forgiven her, though she surely never regretted any abuse. I and my children didn't deserve her shit and she can live in her own created shit now. Of course I understand my golden brothers mail had to do with mother, as she's the one stalking my sites on the net. Shortly after the smear mails to my oldest brother this summer I'd had visits from mother, and she'd added me on two of my accounts. Of course she'd been informed by her darling children about me and she wanted to find out some good stuff to help them to smear me more with. Or why else not write any proper comment, just show me she'd read my pages by adding me? And the closeness to their activities is the dead give away they are talking about me and making up stories. So the golden brother must had gotten this idea to read my blog from her, who wanted me punished. Bitch.
In the blog, which this brother used as an excuse to verbally abuse me, I revealled things that might be very upsetting to me and it was exactly these things he picked at in his mail. Malignant people try to figure out your sore spots, where you are already hurting, and pick on that. It's cause they are sadists. The funny thing is that the very first graphic on that blog is about sadism. How fitting. I tell things like how weird I've found the way our sister dragged around our dad on the Supermarket just a day before the home nurse found him ill in his home. It was weird as his heart was so weak at that time it is like insane to do such a thing, unless... So of course the brother claims in his mail that it's me who's killed dad. Ok, no blame shift their? Thinking back how he was tortering dad with his unpaid parking ticket for his last two year in life I guess he needs to shift his blame to another person. Doing such a thing to a heart sick is just... sick. Reading their mails about dad's health from that time is very revealing. It's all about dementia and depression and not a word about the real issue - his heart was failing. As I myself almost died in 2011 I could totally relate to dad's choice of life style. If you have a weak heart that does not work alright you just don't have the strenght to do things. You only want to rest and read and take it easy. I talked to dad about it and this was what he wanted. He wished his sister, who lived next door, to look after him so he was alright, but he didn't want any fuzz and people running around in his home, upsetting him.
This makes his projections of me actually killing dad very revealing as he hardly spent any time with him the last summer, only two months before dad passed away. He spent three weeks in Sweden but during that time he drove around more then 500 swedish mil (think that should be like 3000 miles). I know that as he rented a car of us. We'd thought he'd like use it for max 100 swedish mil, so when we got it back we had to repair it for more then he'd rented it for. Thanks alot, asshole. It was new and we'd bought it specially for him to use. That's how evil we are! So instead of spending dad's last summer with him this golden brother entertained his guests, and then he two years later writes a hate mail to me framing me for his death. Nice one! Another thing he surely had picked up from the blog, as a sore spot, was that I felt bad about how they always made us out as the lazy ones. That was connected to them having houses on the farm and me and the oldest brother not. So of course he also wrote in his hate mail that I was lazy, and that in connection to dad's death to make it really truly hurtful. That is how malignant people act when they don't get their way and this was before the lawyer had totally agreed to all his terms in his solutions of the estate. So he lashed out at me and accused me of wanting to rob him of his nasty little outhouse, which was totally unfounded if you look at what I'd actually told the lawyer. So far I was only focusing on my sisters lies and the house, which is a real house, she's been lying about for 20 year.
To spice up his hate mail he then also added some unrepeatable filthy words, that atleast put a smile on our own lawyers face when we showed the mail to him. Then I did warn him I thought this mail was the worst so far he'd written about me. Apparently this golden brother has been smearing me alot to others and sent a few hate mails about me to my husband, that I've never recieved as I had him blocked on my old computer. Will try and block him again on this new one as it's not nice to get such filth from someone you've been nothing but kind to your whole life. He must have some serious emotional problems he ought to seek help for as it's not healthy to act out such vile hate and insults in the open like he does. At the same time he also is smearing me to be having a hate campaign about him and our sister, which is funny as it's them two who started to smear me long before I knew what they were up to. She sent on my private mail with vile smear about me and before that she'd smeared me to the oldest brother, behind my back, calling me mentally instable due to my claim of having read her written agreement on that bloody house she wants. Nobody can be diagnosed with a mental disorder for having read a paper and having a witness confirming this statement, but she however, being the only one claiming this paper was a loan paper, might have cause to seek some professional help on those issues. So they've been properly smearing me and of course they don't want me out here talking the truth and standing my ground! That's cause of their smear that I must have "something to hide" as I now refuse to talk to them. Well, they told me to shut the fuck up so why should I ever talk to them?
In conclusion his hate mail in October told me that I was 1) lazy for not being able to stop dad from dying, and therefore guilty of 2) killing dad by this neglect of not being able to stop his damaged heart from giving up. And he also projected that I was 3) planning all along to steal the outhouse he thought he alone had built using all his own money, and that dad had nothing to do with it being built and I was 4) nasty for thinking dad was the one actually paying and building the house, which our aunt who lives on the farm says. That was in the blog he had read some of, so perhaps he read that part, but ignored to explain why she says that. I only quoted her in the blog and only wondered why he says this, dad says another thing to his sister, and why mother kept complaining to me that dad again and again denied these spoiled rotten children owned either building. I said nothing in that blog myself about anything concerning his bloody outhouse, so why the hate mail claiming I did? He's said to me, which I've told our sisters best friend - the so called independant estate settling lawyer - that he sold his sailing boat to finance the building of the outhouse. But what I never said to the same best friend of our sister is that I've been told by the same sister that our dad paid the sailing boat! So, dad buys our golden brother a sailing boat, according to our sister, and then this golden boy sells this boat and buys material to a building, according to himself. Then dad builds the building and pays the material for it, according to his sister. And dad says the building belongs to the farm and is his, according to our mother. Am I missing something here? Where on earth is my conniving plan to rob him of this building in all of this?
Like I've said, you need some kind of emotional disorder to attack a person for stating all the rumours she's heard in a totally anonymous blog, she's not given to anyone in her extended family and most certainly not to mother. Who has spread that blog is this golden brother himself, as he sent the link out to the other siblings too. Of course my only decent brother already knew about this blog, but I doubt he'd read much of it lately as he has other interests then stalking my websites and channels. He knows the truth and he's only sad that his brother is acting so peculiar and the horrible way he spoke to me in that mail was so awful he could not speak about it even weeks later when we met to go and see the lawyer together. It was so despicable only a very derranged person would speak like that to his dear little sister. It fills my heart with sadness cause now I understand my play with dolls were all too true. I so wished to dream my closest brother was kind and caring, for real, but he's the evil doll in my play. I've mentioned that play before, but in short there are this mommy figure and two dolls, or sisters. The mother blames everything the nasty doll does on the nice doll, who gets severely beated and yelled at, while the nasty doll sits there smiling innocently, fully knowing she's the one guilty. I remember how that play made me feel and how I after the play sat there with the poor nice doll in my arms crying my eyes out over her fate. That was how strong that play was to me. You know what they say - children show their family dynamics when they play with dolls.
The last thing in his mail was that he wished me to go to hell. As hell is were the dead lives - the land of the dead - in the norse myths and also a place for the wicked AND dead in our modern myths, he in short wished death to come to me. He wanted to see me DEAD. Thanks alot! That is truly wicked. Remember that I almost died 2011, which I also spoke about in the blog he'd read from, so he knew how hurt I was that my family ignored this totally. I fell ill in 2003 after I'd helped my sister move. Also dad got very ill from helping her out, while she hardly did a thing as she had injured a leg or something. My husband hurt his back helping her out, as he got back problems. The only one I never heard got injured in helping her move that time was the golden brother. Shortly after this I lost control over my muscels, and now I understand why. As I was at that time suffering from severe anemia my muscles didn't get enough blood and oxygene when I worked so hard and that caused some kind of reaction, perhaps an inflamatory state or something, and that's why it felt like I had MS or something. It came very sudden when I was helping my husband carrying a piece of heavy iron pole for a scaffoldning we had borrowed to the house as we were painting it. Suddenly my hands just lost all strenght and I dropped it. Then ever since then and still today my muscels are really weak and I have to will them to follow my orders. I have constant pains all through my body. That is what severe anemia does in the long run, even if it's cured in the end.
So that was when I first realized something was wrong, but then I imagined it might be a virus. In the end we all know what did transpire and how I lost my baby in 2005, which this brother knows fully well, but does obviously care nothing about as he's a total ass. That caused my severe anemia to become lethal anemia, we all know now, and after that my health slowly detoriated. Anemia makes you really tired and since I was already suffering from another born with condition that cause tiredness and which is very bad to combine with lethal anemia I got really really tired. This is what my brother in his hate mail calls "lazy", that I had a heart condition during which I still ran one swedish mil for years every day, which he never did, and still worked all day at a floor factory or studied full time. And then had four children without any anesthesia and took care of them without any nanny or granny or anyone else helping me out, as my husband had to work all the time, and study, to get us out of the hellhole we were put in thanks to the financial crash 1992. So all of this my golden brother calls "lazy". This while he himself had never born a child, and his wife only one child late in their lives and they also have a house maid, or nanny or what they call them. Someone who cleans their home and takes care of their only child. That is what I would call LAZY. So on top of all of this I also managed to remake BOTH gardens to the two homes we've owned. Making lots of areas into farming lands and creating a park of flowers and walk ways. I did that with my two bare hands. That's lazy for you.
Obviously he knew from my blog how evil it would be to call me "lazy" so that's why he did it. In pure spite and evilness, just like I now remember he always did when we were children. I rememeber me calling him out on this and telling him he always hit below the belt to win a fight by harming you with the worst thing he could bring into the discussion. He never won an argument by actually having the best arguments or the facts, but always by dirty tricks which always were designed to cause as much emotional trauma as possible to the sibling he was arguing with. If that is not evil I don't know what is. I'd severely refrain myself from ever doing anything like that to anyone, but in rare occasions after plenty of abuse and harassment, and when it's well deserved and asked for I once in a blue moon has picked the most sore spot on my aggressor and totally obliterated him or her. It's not something I'm proud of doing, but in those few occasions it's made me be left alone by some nasty bully, so I do know how to do this, but my soul just does not go there easily. And I was taught this by my closest brother as a child. So he's definitely the nasty doll in my play. There is no question about it, that this doll had him as a base. He's that nasty behind his facade of niceness. He's nothing nice atall, but selfish and revengful. He knows I've been telling the truth all along, as his mail the 27th May 2013 totally reveals that. Also a private mail to his older brother at that time confirms that he knows we both tell the truth and our sister is the liar. He just does not care as he likes to harm me!
Another thing about my life and how "lazy" it all has been, is that as we moved here, and I was so very tired from anemia already and loosing my hair, we also have had lots of animals. All the children are animallovers so we moved here with nine cats and three chickens. Then we eventually got rabbits, ginny pigs and many more kinds and loads of kids on many of them. By the time dad had his heart attack in 2005 we already had a house full of animals and even if we tried to sell off some it was hard for the children to see them go. Having animals is not something you do on a whim, like this golden brother seems to believe. He just laughs it off like we could eat them up, if I told him we were too busy taking care of our children and their animals and that we had very limited funds to do anything out of the ordinary. His solutions was simple - the children could take care of themselves and we could slaughter the animals, so we could eat. That is empathy and kindness for you - NOT! In his mind other peoples wants and needs, loves and cares have no value what so ever. They are all a joke to him! Only his counts. His are very important and should be honored with great respect. So that's why he wrote the selfpity mail about himself loosing connections with dad's farm if we had to sell it. Not one second did he stop to think about MY emotions, or about his older brothers. Not one sec... It's of no concern to him as he has the mind of a spoiled three-yearold. It's just not that charming when you see it in a man passed his 50's.
As you can see I've not mentioned anyones name here, and my name is NOT what the blog says, though the photo is real. That is truly an old photo of me before I got really ill, but already on that photo I was loosing my hair and had aches and pains in my body. I just can't believe how ill I got eventually, but of some reason I never got around to pay attention to myself and my own needs as I had all the children and the animals to take care of. I felt overwhelmed with everything and I complained about this many times to mother. The house got messier and messier as my energy got worse, and it was harder to take care of everything. The garden was slowly coming forward, but not in a pace I wanted. Still I made a 15-20 meter long compost and I used it all up after it had become soil. It was like 2 meters wide and one meter high and only that was lots of work. Today I've made an even bigger compost, which is ripe for starting to use. As we moved here 13 years ago I think that is pretty well done of me, concidering. Mothers help to keep the clutter out of my house has however constituted with her using our living room to store her garbage and giving us all sorts of junk she didn't want anymore. My complain over the loads of animals we had she sorted out by dumping her dog on me, who poop indoors and are getting old and sickly. She made a deal with me that if I kept the dog she'd made sure dad was taken care of, and then she went off and ignored him. Of course. But in her golden babies mind it's ME who's the evil cow who would not do a thing. They are such sweet three-yearolds... If only they were.

Ingis Erlingsdotter - Magnolia Lane